Paul Zoinker 's definitions

goonwife

A woman to whom you most reliably or consistently goon, to the point of a certain loyalty being established. Likely, the gooner has fallen in love with the woman, who is typically but not always, a celebrity or e-girl. The excessive, masturbatory evolution of, but not limited to, ‘the celebrity crush.’

I wouldn’t say I haven’t jerked it to another girl now and then, but Charli D’Amelio is without a doubt my goonwife. I can’t get enough of her.

by Paul Zoinker March 13, 2024