Pancake Apostles 's definitions

IHOP Confessional

A sexual act performed in an IHOP bathroom, with 3 people involved. One holds a bottle of syrup aloft over the closed stall door, chanting words of forgiveness and prayer to two people having intercourse on the sink. It is vital for correct performance that the syrup priest, or “Maple Minister”, maintain the seal of confessional by keeping the door closed, unable to see the intwined parties on the sink. During the ritual, it is vital that Minister apply holy oil (syrup) to the confessors, in order to better achieve forgiveness while still maintaining the aforementioned seal of confessional. No line of sight. Confessors must be naked, as sin was devised at the nudity of Adam and Eve in the Garden. The confessors will confess their sins, while being anointed, and absolutely fucking.

(This is the reason no more than 2 people are allowed in an IHOP bathroom at a time.)

*Kneeling Upon Saint Syrup*

Father I have sinned, and don't know what to do.

Nonsense Child. Join me for an IHOP confessional and let your sins speak through you. Strawberry, Blueberry, Old Fashioned, or Butter Pecan?

by Pancake Apostles March 3, 2026