1 definition by Mark Guagliardo

Top Definition
Scubaholic: One who is addicted to SCUBA diving

A Scubaholic is generally defined as one with the consistent and excessive consumption of and/or preoccupation with diving to the extent that this behavior interferes with an individual's normal personal, family, social, or work life. A Scubaholic condition can potentially result in psychological and physiological conditions, as well as, ultimately, death. Scubaholicism is one of the world's most costly recreational diversions. With the exception of nicotine addiction, Scubaholicism is more costly to most countries than all other recreational diversions combined.

Scubaholic Test and Warning Signs

If you can answer "yes" to five or more of the following statements, you may be a Scubaholic...

- I can't focus properly without my facemask on.
- I automatically breathe out when I walk up a flight of stairs.
- My picture now appears on the "Local Species" bulletin at my LDS.
- Fresh air is starting to taste funny.
- My house always smells like wet neoprene... and stuff.
- My car smells worse than my house.
- I worry too much about elevators ascending too quickly.
- I bring my dive light to bed in case I need to go down.
- I wake up at night flailing to reach my regulator.
- My dive car is held together by rust.
- I clear my ears before getting on a down escalator.
- My scuba gear gets more time in the bathroom than I do.
- You've stopped logging dives because it's easier to just log surface intervals.

The Twelve Steps of the Scubaholic...

My name is "Your Name" and I am a Scubaholic, it's been x minutes, hours, days since my last dive.

1. I admit being powerless over my addiction - that my diving has become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power great as my certifying agency could restore me to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of my dive master.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of my dive gear.

5. Admitted to no-one, to our self or to another Scubaholic, the exact cost of expenses on gear.

6. Am entirely ready to have my certifying agency remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked certifying agency to remove my shortcomings, and to improve my air time.

8. Made a list of all persons I have dived with, and became willing to make them sign my dive log.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others, and keeping my DAN account current..

10. Will continue to take personal inventory of my gearbag and when missing something will promptly buy it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with my certifying agency as we understood our certifying agency, praying only for knowledge of certifying agency's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Scubaholics, and to practice these principles in all our dives.
by Mark Guagliardo March 13, 2008
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