1 definition by KingOfKeeners
An individual obsessed with academic performance. This person treats every assignment, quiz, and test as if it were a life and death situation. It is imperative for a keener to receive straight A's in every class. If a keener receives a mark less than an A, said keener will wallow in a pool of self-pity and depression. However, keeners quickly recover by doubling their efforts in an attempt to redeem themselves of this failure.
Keeners also exhibit chronic habits which make them easy to spot. A keener will have intense feelings of anxiety about an upcoming test 3 months in advance and then proceed to receive an A later. Keeners also have a calculator at all times in order to calculate their GPA at any given moment in order to reassure themselves that they will receive an A in the course. A keener also possesses the lightning reflexes of a black mamba in order to raise their hand at an astonishing speed to answer any question that the teacher may ask in order to demonstrate their mental prowess. But most important of all, a keener is one that is enthusiastic about learning more than anything else.
Keeners also exhibit chronic habits which make them easy to spot. A keener will have intense feelings of anxiety about an upcoming test 3 months in advance and then proceed to receive an A later. Keeners also have a calculator at all times in order to calculate their GPA at any given moment in order to reassure themselves that they will receive an A in the course. A keener also possesses the lightning reflexes of a black mamba in order to raise their hand at an astonishing speed to answer any question that the teacher may ask in order to demonstrate their mental prowess. But most important of all, a keener is one that is enthusiastic about learning more than anything else.
Jessica: OH MY GOD! The final is going to be so hard! I'm going to fail this course!! I need to start studying now!
Me: Uhh...classes haven't even started yet and you and I both know you're going to ace this course, you're such a keener.
Me: Uhh...classes haven't even started yet and you and I both know you're going to ace this course, you're such a keener.
by KingOfKeeners September 24, 2012