1 definition by John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt

When you say that you're going to "kill a calamari" it means that you're going to masterbate...this comes from the popular line "Everytime you masterbate, god kills a calamari".
"I'm going to take a shower and kill a calamari in there"
"I'm a serial calamari killer"
by John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt February 15, 2004
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