His holyness, Pope John Paul II's definitions

Derivative

1. The equation of the slope of a line, found by taking the limit as "h" approches 0 of the quantity "f(x + h) - f(x)" devided by "h." It was developed simultaniously by two european guys with funny names.

2. One of the few torture devices still in common use in "civilization."

1. If "f(x)" = "y" = "x^2 + 5x + 3" then it's derivative, "f'(x)" or "dy/dx" is "2x + 5"

2. Fuck my math teacher, if he gives us any more calculus homework I am going to diferentiate my foot up his ass!

by His holyness, Pope John Paul II December 14, 2003