which causes a speech-related abnormality only when saying the word "unfortunately." Whereas a normal person would say "un-for-chun-it-lee," a person in the later stages of mad clown disease will say "un-for-toon-ut-lee," much like a homosexual penguin. It's passed from person to person (or penguin) through Paris Hilton. Mad clown disease was first discovered by Dr. Al K. Seltzer in Pietermaritzburg, South Africa. You know, "South" Africa? Vast strides have been made in the fight against mad clown disease. As of yet, no cure is forthcoming, and the disease is viciously contagious. Currently, the method we are using to study the disease is spending time in the Paris Hilton (not the hotel). What? It's research!
Oh no, another outbreak of mad clown disease! Euthanize
all penguins and Hilton sisters! Stay away from their orifices!