Flatulent_Jarvis's definitions

Survival Kit

The products included in your Tesco delivery used to protect you from Coronavirus. The contents include a six-pack of knock-off Heinz beans, a packet of rice, Carex hand sanitizer, a four-pack of jumbo toilet paper, and a second-hand Mankini. It normally only lasts about 2 weeks, and all comes up to about £39.99. Considering the rarity of these items, due to the bulk buying customers planning to self-isolate, the Survival Kit is heavily underpriced (not that it is a bad thing though).

Michael: “I’m scared, I wanna hide from Coronavirus!”

Pablo “What about your Coronavirus Survival Kit?”

by Flatulent_Jarvis March 16, 2020

Mouth Hairs

The mysterious hairs which stick to your tongue, which have you scraping your inner mouth with your long, grimy fingernails.

My cat David keeps spreading Mouth Hairs through the house!

by Flatulent_Jarvis March 16, 2020

Audible Dogfart

I wanted to upload a highly educational definition to Urban Dictionary, but I was clueless of what to do that is not related to flatulent gas or dogs. But then, at that same moment, my dog did a fart and I heard the noise. It was like God sent that fart to tell me that I should do a definition about dog farts or poo. And here I am.

I would give the dog’s fart a solid 8 out of 10 (being the highest score). It was smelly, it made the room and the walls tinted green, but that’s the norm for a dogfart. The best part of this smelly bum burp is that it was clearly audible. It sounded like a balloon losing it’s helium!

That is all for now. Stay tuned in for more of my wonderful definitions on this website.

I was put off from eating my baguette when I could smell Buster’s busting, Audible Dogfart.

by Flatulent_Jarvis March 19, 2020