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Definitions by Dan the pc butcher

evict the turtle 

From "Turtle heading," when you force out the "Turtle, also see "Decapitate" the turtle
"dude, i was turtle heading so bad, totally busting my guts, till im gonna go evict the turtle in your room"

Decapitate the turtle

when you are turtle heading, or plain taking a dookie, and you "cut loose" the protruding mass of excrement by clenching your sphincter tight mid turd
"damnd that was a long crap, i had to decapitate the turtle before it touched the water"