A Conserv-absurd is an argument that provides poor reasoning in support of its conclusion. Conserv-absurds differ from other bad arguments in that right-wing people find these psychologically persuasive, and therefore mistakenly believe its conclusion to be true even though it’s false.
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
There they go again trying to blame everything on the “liberal media.” But Conserv-absurds are the real reason the country is going down the toilet!
by ConcealedID July 14, 2009
Geriacryolism - ger⋅i⋅ ak-ir-o-l-ism
Pronounced "jer-ee- uh-krol- iz-uhm"
- noun
1. Ludicrous misuse of a word by the elderly, especially by confusion with one of similar sound.
2. An act or habit of misusing words after the age of 40 in ridiculous ways, esp. by the confusion of words, sometimes confusing names not similar at all, and often blanking on a word entirely.
3. An idiosyncratic substitution of a word or phrase for a word or words that sound similar. In the case of Geriacryolism, “Half-Timers Disease” for Alzheimer’s disease also is a synonym.
Pronounced "jer-ee- uh-krol- iz-uhm"
- noun
1. Ludicrous misuse of a word by the elderly, especially by confusion with one of similar sound.
2. An act or habit of misusing words after the age of 40 in ridiculous ways, esp. by the confusion of words, sometimes confusing names not similar at all, and often blanking on a word entirely.
3. An idiosyncratic substitution of a word or phrase for a word or words that sound similar. In the case of Geriacryolism, “Half-Timers Disease” for Alzheimer’s disease also is a synonym.
Examples:
Intercourse (Intersection)
Strategery (strategy)
Mandolin (Mandarin)
Interwebs (Internet)
Such misuse of words could be classified as Freudian slips, improper grammar or Bushisms, or as an “eggcorn,” except when these errors occur due to aging. Symptoms of Geriacryolism typically begin in the 40’s, and increase over time in equal proportion to bowel problems. Geriacryolism may be associated with dyslexia, though this remains only theory to date.
Intercourse (Intersection)
Strategery (strategy)
Mandolin (Mandarin)
Interwebs (Internet)
Such misuse of words could be classified as Freudian slips, improper grammar or Bushisms, or as an “eggcorn,” except when these errors occur due to aging. Symptoms of Geriacryolism typically begin in the 40’s, and increase over time in equal proportion to bowel problems. Geriacryolism may be associated with dyslexia, though this remains only theory to date.
by ConcealedID July 01, 2009