1 definition by Cockbump Chaos
The Cockbump was originated back many moons ago, when slapping hands just didn’t cut the mustard and the obvious fist bump went out with Hammer pants. It was construed during one of the most epic games of Flip Cup in the history of the world. Imagine, in the back woods of northern Michigan with the Rifle river flowing to your back, an army of drunken friends, beer as cold as those big mountains and a game so close that not even those cell phone pictures of Brett Favre could measure a winner. There it was, 2 competitors left standing with the cups empty and flying in the air. They finally land, declaring our team the winner and the crowd erupts louder then when Kelly Clarkson won American Idol! Thinking to ourselves, its time to celebrate! But how?? Cup in one hand, beer in the other, our faces too beautiful to head butt, we had enough alcohol in us to make Charlie Sheen blush, so we came up with the next best thing: The Cockbump.
Cockbump: A simple effect way to say hello!
Side (morning) bump: Ladies are to be bumped on the side to avoid pregnancy. Frontal is allowed in private. Also, when you possess morning wood this is the only bump allowed, NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nice-to-meet-you bump: This bump consists of a left to right swaying motion used when meeting someone for the first time.
Love You bump: This is the BUMP of all bumps. When performing this bump, you must sway from left to right and back to front, preferably grasping a butt cheek.
My Condolences bump: This is a sympathy bump, to be performed at funerals, or any other event requiring sympathy. You simply bump, and hold for no less than 5 seconds.
Orion's Bump: This bump is for occasions when you are happy or excited, but must be careful to not get too excited during the bump. The bump is similar to #1 but must be performed at an accelerated pace. The longer the bump, the more emotions that are expressed.
High 2 Bump: This is a leaping bump, hence High 2.
Cock Bump Wave: Just like the name says, this is a bump followed by a wave and pass to any available direction.
Muff Bump: This bump is for a female, so, ladies choice.
Casey Bump: This is a bump to a dog. It must only be performed by males.
Side (morning) bump: Ladies are to be bumped on the side to avoid pregnancy. Frontal is allowed in private. Also, when you possess morning wood this is the only bump allowed, NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nice-to-meet-you bump: This bump consists of a left to right swaying motion used when meeting someone for the first time.
Love You bump: This is the BUMP of all bumps. When performing this bump, you must sway from left to right and back to front, preferably grasping a butt cheek.
My Condolences bump: This is a sympathy bump, to be performed at funerals, or any other event requiring sympathy. You simply bump, and hold for no less than 5 seconds.
Orion's Bump: This bump is for occasions when you are happy or excited, but must be careful to not get too excited during the bump. The bump is similar to #1 but must be performed at an accelerated pace. The longer the bump, the more emotions that are expressed.
High 2 Bump: This is a leaping bump, hence High 2.
Cock Bump Wave: Just like the name says, this is a bump followed by a wave and pass to any available direction.
Muff Bump: This bump is for a female, so, ladies choice.
Casey Bump: This is a bump to a dog. It must only be performed by males.
by Cockbump Chaos June 4, 2011