Contrary to the above suggestions the term "your mum" is not actually officially an insult. In fact, in many situations it can be seen as a very honourable compliment. For example, if someone calls your mum a "hottie", you can revel in the knowledge that you were first out of all your friends to be in her (provided none of your friends have entered her previous to your birth, might be best to check first). Additionally, your mum might be called "loose" and a "fucking slag" which are street terms for being a good listener.
However, there are certainly usages which can be deemed offensive, as we can see below in the examples. In fact, the British government in the "Your Mum" parliamentary act of 1923 split the term into 5 classes. Use of a level 5 can lead to unlimited fines and/or a prison sentence of 20 years. Community service for a level 4 usage is compulsory, servicing 40+ year old mums to 'keep them fresh'.
The term was first coined by early Christians after the Bible story in Bernard 3:19 in which Jesus is still a teen and beginning his forages into carpentry and the bush. In the account he is bullied by a gang of locals nicknamed 'The Disciplz', who continually shout abuse and throw pasties at his knees . Eventually, Jesus tires of the pastry-related insults and hits back with his best friend Foreskin, cornering the Disciplz and threatening them with a badger. His tormentors are reluctant to repent until Jesus speaks the most momentous words that possibly the whole world has ever heard...
"Your mothers are all very much like the Romans. They are strong, valiant and innovatice, and they all wear skirts that show their willies."
In the story the Disciplz immediately fall to their knees and pledge allegiance to Jesus, scratching their elbows with shortcake as was the age-old tradition and not leaving his side for 20 more years, even to go to the loo.
Inevitably the usage grew from that point but the term has been somewhat tainted by popular culture and Richard and Judy. We can only pray that those who use it correctly shall be rewarded with the "Second Coming (Of Your Mum)"...
Level 1 - Much favoured usage in the Western world
'Your mum has a massive cock and I am going to stick it in my mouth and inflate her already huge
Level 2 - A passable compliment
'I would love to take your mum out sometime and penetrate her, if that is ok with you'
Level 3 - Risky, preferably used behind closed doors
'Your mum likes chocolates because they are the same colour as my poo'
Level 4 - Offensive and nasty use - would make me cry
'Your mum is an idiot. She has the IQ of an elf.'
Level 5 - You must be a mental
'Your mum is a M*ll*rd Duck'
Humourous response to any question where a noun or noun-phrase is expected.
See also: Yer mum
Q: What time is it?
A: Your mum.
Q: Under which of the true sciences should philosophy be classified?
A: Your mum.
probbably the most immortal phrase to bless this great earth. It may answer any question, and cause great havoc.
Q)"what is the square root of 81"
A)"your mum is the square root of 81"
Q)I got Monopoly for Christmas"
A)Your mum got monopoly for Christmas"
a comeback to a question or insult. it is beautiful in its simplicity in that those two words will imply that the person's mother is fat, baggy, saggy, ugly and would probably simulate coitis with anything that got in her way. the only acceptable comebacks to a display of 'yourmummery' are shown below:
Cardy: Hey, what's that smell?
Daly: Your mum.
Cardy: Your face.
Daly: Your mum's face.
(on NO account bring 'your dad' into this - that's just rude.)
the best response to any question. can be used on numerous occasions including insulting someone, an answer to a question you dont know the answer for, just for the hell of it or in concjuntion with a sentence. NB: it is important to find out about the status of the other person mother i.e. if something upsetting happened to her etc so no true insult is caused. P.S. the only people who WILL get really insulted then are silly or stupid and dont understand it is a joke and think you are really out to insult their family...
Percy: S'cuse me you've got something on your face.
Pat: Your mum's got something on her face.
Percy: okkkk... I havent got anyone to go to Prom with.
Pat: I'm going with your mum.
Percy: stop saying your mum!
Pat: your mum
Percy: your face!
Randomer: Percy dude that was harsh!
Percy: sorry Pat your actually really pretty, will you go to Prom with me?
Pat: I already told you i'm going with your mum!
Teacher: Percy stop talking in my lesson. Whats the answer to question 4?
Percy: Your mum?
Teacher: DETENTION! (note the inappropriate last use here where percy just doesnt know where to stop or how the phrase is used...note Pats master skills FYI she doesnt reall want to go to prom with percys mum duh!)
Possibly the greatest insult ever, due to the sheer randomness of it.
Bob: Do you have the time?
Fred: Your mum
Bob: Shut up, you fag. Why do you have to be such a fag all the time?
Fred: Your mum! Your mum, that's why!
Widespread, ineffective insult globally used by townies
and their offspring. Used as a counter insult by citizens with the I.Q of a bucket of sewage water (and the B.O of one)
Your mum originated, presumably, in the UK, which just adds another thing to the list that we'll be embarrased we thought of when we look back at this 10 years from now
Your mum is effectively dead towards punks
, and emos
, and ironically has been added to their arsenal of townie impressions.
However, mentioning 'your mum' to a townie
or similar missing link of the gene code may result in serious bodily harm, so if you do have to insult them, use words with more than 6 letters to leave them stunned and confused.
A: Fuck you
B: Fuck your mum
A: You're gay
B: Your mum's gay
"your mum" is the ultimate answer
what's six times nine? your mum! (i always thought there was something fundimentally wrong with your mum)