wet turd 

A piece of extremely damp turd that drips out after drinking a shit tone of energy drinks

"He is a wet turd"

wet turd by LittleSlice May 8, 2014

between a turd and a wet place 

A more descriptive version of a sticky situation. "Between a rock and a hard place" doesn't really cut it when a situation is not only difficult, but upsetting and/or infuriating.

"I really don't know what to do. My girlfriend thinks I can't commit, and wants me to go meet her mother. If I don't go, she's going to break up with me. But if I do go to the meeting, her mother will likely remember that one night stand I had with her a year ago--and that's really going to be trouble. I'm really between a turd and a wet place here."

between a turd and a wet place by H. Bobs September 4, 2014

juggling turds with wet hands 

Carrying out several tasks at the same time, none of which are easy but none of which are impossible, whilst in circumstances which are not particularly favourable to completing the task.

It's like juggling turds with wet hands!

juggling turds with wet hands by Ian Chode September 13, 2003