Wafflesopher

Some students of philosophy lack the ability to make clear and concise points in an argument. A person who does this is known as a wafflesopher. Much of a wafflesopher's language will consist of long, complicated words that they string together in quick succession in order to create the illusion of having something interesting to say. In many cases they can keep this process up for several hours without taking a single breath. Simple ways to spot a wafflesopher include making eye contact with them (if they avoid said eye contact then the chances are they are feeling guilty about trying to pass of utter crap as valid information) and checking to see if they are sweating profusely (this again is a sign that they are guilty about their attempts to dupe those listening). An important point to raise is that many wafflesophers have no idea that they are waffling. Due to their lack of self-awareness these are far harder to spot than their more wily counterparts. In order to oust this form of wafflesopher you must carefully analyze their language, searching it for signs of bullshit. Caution must be used with this method however as revealing to the perpetrator that what they are saying makes no sense can invoke wild outbursts of unrelated language that will slowly descend into nothing more than angry grunts. Knowing the signs is half the battle, knowing how to alert those around you of the impending boredom without the wafflesopher in question catching on is of equal importance.

Person 1: Hey, Person 2, Person 3 is a quite obviously wafflesopher.

Person 2: Yeh I know. I'd better inform him of this fact before he embarrasses himself further...Hey Person 3 you're not saying anything of meaning, it is total bullshit.

Person 3: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO

Person 1: Holy shit you've sent him into a linguistic shame spiral.

Person 3: WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGG

by Captain Philosophy January 27, 2011