A way to express feeling very frustrated about an ongoing or frequent situation that you seem incapable of resolving;
To feel like a turtle wandering around wearing an oversized Mexican sombrero and everytime something surprises him he pulls his head into his shell and the hat falls off and his little turtle arms are too short to put it back on his head and so he is sort of forced to nuzzle it back on but then it's sitting sort of crooked and he still can't reach it to adjust it so he has to do a bit of a wobble back and forth to get it to sit properly and then something surprises him again and...
To feel like a turtle wandering around wearing an oversized Mexican sombrero and everytime something surprises him he pulls his head into his shell and the hat falls off and his little turtle arms are too short to put it back on his head and so he is sort of forced to nuzzle it back on but then it's sitting sort of crooked and he still can't reach it to adjust it so he has to do a bit of a wobble back and forth to get it to sit properly and then something surprises him again and...
Turtle hat! I keep waking up soaked in piss and I try to stay awake to catch who's doing it but it's hard when I'm so motherfucking drunk.
by JLamprey December 14, 2016
When a man takes home a woman who chose to wear a top hat out to a formal event. Right after she falls asleep, he ejaculates around the rim of the hat, then puts it back onto her head. When she wakes up and her hair has fused to the hat and protests, he simply pulls the hat down forcefully causing her head to pop out of the top of the hat, much like a turtle peeking his head out of his shell.
The bed didn't have any sheets so I couldn't Superman that hoe, but luckily I was able to still Turtle Top Hat her shit.
by Turtlejournal January 3, 2008