On the subject of the opposite sex, it is often possible to observe the phenomenon of the "girl towny". This female variety is not dissimilar to the male variety, except that even more white clothing is worn, in stark contrast to the often orange war-paint worn caked over the faces of female townies. This serves to obliterate the feaures of the "girl townies" and cleverly hide the fact that the male and female of the species are almost indistinguishable without aids to appearance.
Interpersonal relationships among their own groups are often primitive, centred around cheap sexual conquests and who is going to "batter" who. The two are often linked.
The activities displayed by townies often serve to demonstrate a deep-seated aggression, often causing behaviour associated with extreme aggressiveness and violence. This includes a tendency to veer towards a non-towny in the street and "start on" them, at the same time accusing the aforementioned non-towny of doing the same to them. This is often accompanied by swearing, usually "Come on then, you f**king c**t!" or similar aggressive twaddle.
Townies generally have no knowledge of how their sub-culture started, as despite their apparent embracing of black culture, they are usually more likely to take part in a racist assault than normal people like you or I. In fact, any group assault is likely to have townies at the root of the problem.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my definition. If any more evidence/information is required, feel free to watch Crimewatch UK and look at the CCTV footage of street violence. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Seriously, do it.
Norm#1: "Oh. Right. Tasteful ring."
The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.
The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.
Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.
As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed the older townies into buying for them, and smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day. These activites make townies think they are really "cool" and probably give them the feeling that they are grown-ups, when in actual fact they are just immature slobs. They will mess around in school, disrupting lessons, etc, which reflects on their school achievements - which are usually nothing but sports-related activities.
If you are not one of them and you approcach a group of townies, don't be alarmed if they shout abuse at you and offer to fight you. The lead townie will shout the most abuse, whilst slowly backing away to hide behind the larger, quieter ones. If this happens, just keep walking - most of the time they will keep shotuing "come on then if you're startin'!" whilst still not coming any closer to you.
they also think they're cool by failing all their schoolwork and talking like dicks .... and then they have a go at kids who're actually smart. Hey townies, they're the ones you'll be packing shopping bags for in the very near future.
Both sexes of 'townies', wear fake gold jewellery bought from the market, or stolen from other fellow townies.
The female specimen, usually have bleach blonde hair, with about 2 inches of deep brown hair above. They too sport tracksuits, having words such as 'BABE' and 'PRINCESS' bore upon their chests. The females also spend all their time “hangin wit der homies” and attempting to pull an ugly male townie.
If you do unfortunately see a group of townies, you will see several young children running around, also smoking and trying to thieve off of you. This happens because a townie is very unfamiliar with contraception, and as a result has at least 2 spouses by the time they are 15. They also may carry at least 10 STD's as yet another result of lack of contraception.
It is good to try and avoid these poor excuses for people: if you yourself are not a fellow townie, due to the fact that they resent anybody who can spell at least one word correctly.
They also like to pretend that they are stoned and drunk to impress others. Even if it is only 10 o'clock in the morning.
TOWNIE 2: O yyeeeaaa mate, lets lob sum J20 bottles at dem!!
TOWNIE 1: Dat is a PHAT idea bruv. As a reward, do ya wanna sleep wit me bird 2nite?
TOWNIE 2: Yea mate, shes f*****' fit bruv!
*R U Callin Ma Mam?
*R U Startin Me U?
*Get 'ere u lil twat am gunna lay u out
*Chantel get back ere u u fuckin twat
*Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck (for lack of a better word.)
Found sat on benches drinking cider and starting on `normal people` for no reason even though der all faggots.
75% of malton school
Townies can be recognised by their lack of intelligence, monkey like walk, godawful baseball caps and having their tracksuit trousers tucked into their socks like some musketeer
Subtype Micro pikey Midgets who start on people but get beaten up so they threaten to get their monkey cousin on them.
Entire Penrice vocab
(only said when asked questions or insulted) Errrmmmm
If approached by one dont worry its completely harmless