|1.||the NASA scale|
just like a NASA launch, counting down from 1 to 10 while watching the ladies. from a distance she looks hot (a 10,) but by the time she's right in front of you she turns out to be glass-shatteringly ugly (a 1.)
dan and stan are walking down main street when they see a woman at the other end of the block walking towards them-
dan: dude! check her out, she's a 10!!
stan: nah, maybe a nine.
dan: yeah, she's kind of fat. make her an 8.
stan: and her nose looks like an eggplant. 7.
dan: gross! she's got a huge booger, too! 6.
stan: and a better mustache than either of us. 5.
dan: look at her hat-she's got no hair! 4.
stan: except for her legs. 3.
dan: you could open a bottle of beer with the gap between her front teeth! 2.
stan: and she's cross-eyed to boot! 1.
both: ah, houston, we've got a problem-ABORT! ABORT!
dan: thank god for the NASA scale!