tartwheel
Similar to a cartwheel, a tartwheel is a prostitute/hooker rolling down a hill or other steep landscape.
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Vagina cartwheels
An elaborate sexual maneuver involving weeks of preparation and a large initial cost investment (should be avoided by all but the most committed and enthusiastic individuals). Supplies needed: octopus, gym membership, a fun-loving and adventure-seeking spirit, more lube than you've ever used in your life, an on-site surgeon (in case of disaster) and Grimm's Book of Fairy Tales.
Instructions:
1) become extremely fit as a member of your local gym or community center.
2) purchase a salt water tank and octopus-- preferably a Caribbean reef octopus for its lovely indigo hue, but the common Octopus vulgaris will do.
3) *ANIMAL CRUELTY INVOLVED IN THE FOLLOWING STEP* De-tentacle the octopus, and desert the body in the appropriate biohazard container of your choice. Preserve the tentacles in your salt water tank.
4) Read your partner, in the accent of your choice, the most fucked-up of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Excellent choices include Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel & Gretel.
4) For every murmur of horror they admit, slap your partner's genitalia with the tentacles.
5) Repeat until the fairy tales are complete or the tentacles no longer have any live neurons and cannot move on their own.
6) Afterwards, do cartwheels to air out one's vagina! THE VAGINA CARTWHEEL IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT THIS PROCESS.
THIS SEXUAL MANEUVER IS ILLEGAL IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES AND PUERTO RICO.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED*
(post-traumatic stress disorder a distinct possibility)
Instructions:
1) become extremely fit as a member of your local gym or community center.
2) purchase a salt water tank and octopus-- preferably a Caribbean reef octopus for its lovely indigo hue, but the common Octopus vulgaris will do.
3) *ANIMAL CRUELTY INVOLVED IN THE FOLLOWING STEP* De-tentacle the octopus, and desert the body in the appropriate biohazard container of your choice. Preserve the tentacles in your salt water tank.
4) Read your partner, in the accent of your choice, the most fucked-up of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Excellent choices include Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel & Gretel.
4) For every murmur of horror they admit, slap your partner's genitalia with the tentacles.
5) Repeat until the fairy tales are complete or the tentacles no longer have any live neurons and cannot move on their own.
6) Afterwards, do cartwheels to air out one's vagina! THE VAGINA CARTWHEEL IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT THIS PROCESS.
THIS SEXUAL MANEUVER IS ILLEGAL IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES AND PUERTO RICO.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED*
(post-traumatic stress disorder a distinct possibility)
"My, what large teeth you have!" *gasp of horror* *slapping noise*
"Hey, I hear Henry F. is super-into Vagina Cartwheels!"
"Hey, I hear Henry F. is super-into Vagina Cartwheels!"
Vagina cartwheels by the love pad November 12, 2012
Related Words
Fartwheel
Robert: Oh man! You should've seen it, Tricia hyped up this trick then ended up doing a fartwheel!
Matt: Lulz.
Matt: Lulz.
Fartwheel by Baron von Evil June 10, 2008
buckingham cartwheel
When you cartwheel past the entire Queen's Guard and then roll through the corridors of Buckingham Palace looking for the queen.
-A man got arrested outside of Buckingham Palace today.
-Really, how?
-He attempted the buckingham cartwheel.
-Really, how?
-He attempted the buckingham cartwheel.
buckingham cartwheel by Uncle Naughty November 14, 2017
Egyptian Cartwheel
A difficult high risk, well scoring sex move to really show a special lady you fuck well. Best performed on a couch in which the female is squashed in the corner inverted and the male performs dabbing motions straight down with her legs front and back to form an Egyptian boat.
Mate: " How was your night out with Dorothy lastnight"
Mate 2" Awesome, I fucked her all across the house and finished with an Egyptian cartwheel, she loved it"
Mate 2" Awesome, I fucked her all across the house and finished with an Egyptian cartwheel, she loved it"
Egyptian Cartwheel by Ceeee February 23, 2015
Cartwheel Queef
The act of the vagina inhaling air upon the initiation of a cartwheel and releasing it in the form of a queef upon completion. Such phenomenon is directly related to and a result of pelvic floor muscle palsy.
When Ruth does cartwheels, everyone thinks she’s farting when in fact she’s only cartwheel queefing.
Cartwheel Queef by Kelly the Queef Chief April 4, 2019
Tarheeling
Tarheeling - n. The act of electing to retreat to the locker room prior to the completion of a game for fear that the opposing team's fans might bump into you while storming the court.
Coach Roy Williams was criticized for his Tarheeling during this year's Florida State basketball game.
Many wondered about the plight of the UNC walkons, who were left on the floor to finish the game, when the rest of the UNC team was Tarheeling.
Dickey V. was quick to blame UNC's Tarheeling on the FSU's coach Hamilton.
Many wondered about the plight of the UNC walkons, who were left on the floor to finish the game, when the rest of the UNC team was Tarheeling.
Dickey V. was quick to blame UNC's Tarheeling on the FSU's coach Hamilton.
Tarheeling by _informed_ January 24, 2012