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Genetically disfigured spermatozoa which can potentially bore mentally and/or physically impaired offspring once mated with an unfertilized egg. Common among male inbred species (see: hicks) and those who undertake long periods of celibacy without masturbation. The chances of producing tardpoles can be minimized by strict adherence to ALL of the following:

1. Prevention of any injury to the gonads.
2. Avoidance of mating with one's sister, cousin, and/or other close relative.
3. Frequent stimulation of the penis until after ejaculation has been achieved.
"Dude, Ortiz just got beaned in the sack by a 95 mph fastball...He'll be shooting tardpoles from now on."
tardpole by MJDP May 4, 2008
Related Words

tartmobile 

A vehicle that sells tarts to passersby on the street, often encouraging the purchase of a second tart, there for making the patron retarted.
Guy 1: Hey! Look! It's the tartmobile!
Guy 2: Great! I can't wait to be retarted!
tartmobile by The Bushmaster June 7, 2016

tardsome 

Norman left his laptop on his car roof, and drove off. It was tardsome.
tardsome by benth September 26, 2008

tarymore 

One who is skilled at handling large penises. Usually named Tyler.
Who is that person over there handling that penis so skillfully?
Oh, him? That's Tarymore.
tarymore by theurbanmessiah December 10, 2013

Tardnold 

A friend who's a (re)tard and walks fast with his head down and avoids conversations with others. He thinks he's cooler than his "friends" that carry Macbook Pros with his Lenovo Thinkpad. Also enjoys playing games with kids who are less than 10. He's also Jewish as he plays Combat Arms, APB, and all F2P games in general. Also, generally in a butthurt mood. Generally, a complete retard who's Jewish.
It's 7am. Our subject, Tardnold, is now in the mood for something a little "hardcore". he puts on his noise canceling gaming headset and goes to his pornographic website of choice. he finds a nice video and gets into position. unknown to tardnold, he forgot to lock his bedroom door, and his mother happens to bring him a plate of pancakes for breakfast. she is horrified at the site of this. her own son jacking off. she taps him on the shoulder, and he flips, accidentally dropping his laptop on the ground, and the plate of pancakes in his mother's hand. left on the ground is a mass of computer parts, maple syrup, and the semen of the subject. No laptop. No pancakes. No respect from his mother. Tardnold
Tardnold by Swaggatron October 23, 2011

Tarmoing 

To go for a beer in the evening once you are on a business trip
Let's go tarmoing this evening?
Tarmoing by GG loves Tarmo June 13, 2018