Haribo Sugarfree Gummy Bears 

The best-tasting super-laxative on the fucking planet. Will efficiently evacuate any fecal matter you have had in your bowels for the past five years. WARNING: MUST BE TAKEN IN SMALL DOSES. An overdose has been known to leave a 250-pound manly-man crying on the bathroom floor. Be careful.

Constipated Man: Hey, I'm plugged up. Can I get some Haribo Sugarfree Gummy Bears?

His Buddy: Yeah, here's a bag. Don't forget to only have a few.

Constipated Man: (Proceeds to eat entire 8-ounce bag)

TWO HOURS LATER

Constipated Man: (Laying on the floor crying) OMFG SATAN OPENED A PORTAL TO HELL IN MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haribo Sugarfree Gummy Bears by tcp3059 May 4, 2014

Sugarfree Red Bull 

1. 100 calories less than the regular stuff
2. Gets you way more wired
3. Sex in a can

Like, I was so totally wired from drinking some Sugarfree Red Bull, I stayed up all night and destroyed my jeans. Like chyeah, that stuff is sex, so totally orgasmic.

Sugarfree Red Bull by Nicole is so sceneXcore December 17, 2005

SUGARFREE 

When your feeling sad;down

Did you see jazzy?
Yea she was feelin Sugarfree

SUGARFREE by JAZZY FRE$H January 13, 2008

Sugarfree Diet Soda 

Nuclear waste. DO NOT CONSUME. Not recommended under any conditions. Drink Sand, not sugarfree diet soda.

Sugarfree Diet Soda is actually browned toilet water mixed with horse radish.

Sugarfree Diet Soda by Xbot5432 January 22, 2007

Simply Sugarfree 

A wonderful comic done by a teenage boy. Well-drawn and funny as hell. You can tell the artist puts a lot of work into it, and in my personal opinion they should publish their work.

Girl: Have you read the new update of Simply Sugarfree?
Boy: No, is it good?
Girl: Gosh, it's the best thing ever!

Simply Sugarfree by DaBoss:) October 14, 2009