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Sicksturbate 

Masturbating, usually multiple times a day, while one is ill in hopes the orgasmic stimulation will help oneself feel better and pass the time while on the road to recovery.
When I had the flu last year, every joint in my body ached. But I would sicksturbate ten times a day for two weeks and felt much better.
Sicksturbate by Dick Onchin October 22, 2020

Sobsterbate 

To masturbate while wallowing in self-pity.
To masturbate while crying.
Can't get ahold of Mike? His girlfriend just dumped him, I'll bet he's home sobsterbating.
Sobsterbate by Annie July 1, 2005

socksturbate

masturbating using a sock worn as a condom to contain the cum shot
i don't need a tissue or towel because i socksturbate
socksturbate by murema October 10, 2014

Sobsterbate 

Giving the ol' below the waist hitch hikers thumb while having a good cry; note: any other feelings had during this action would just be masturbation during a really sad and terrible time
I was looking at our wedding photos and I had to sobsterbate
Sobsterbate by Carion Magnus September 4, 2023

cornholio 

Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.
"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).
cornholio by AYB July 20, 2003
Word of the Day on July 9, 2026

mickey mousing

In a movie, when the music is syncronized perfectly with the action, just like a mickey mouse cartoon.
Mickey mousing is used in the shower scene of Psycho
Word of the Day on July 8, 2026