shitistics 

calculating the mass of someones life time shit production based on their diet and health

Well... I know a man his age (76) should have produced about 24,320lbs (11,030 kg) of shit in his lifetime so far. If we convert those 76 years into days we have 27759 days. Now it is normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three times a week to three times a day, but my dad always ate dinner at the same time and used the bathroom approximately once a day. Therefore we can conclude that he has shat approximately 27759 times in his lifetime, maybe a little less or a little more. If we divide those 24,320lbs he has dropped in his lifetime with the days he has lived, we should get 0,87lbs which is 0,39kg and therefore we can take a guess and say that his last shit weighted about 0,87 pounds or 0,39kg. Now the average weight of a human log is around 1/4 of a pound to 1 pound (or 0,11kg to 0,45kg). With this information we can tell that the turd was a little on the skinny side but he is healthy and probably doing well. This is shitistics.

shitistics by wanwanwan September 21, 2022

shittist 

A religion with the beliefs that all things were created from shit. And this thing called shit broke off into smaller pieces of shit to form galaxies and planets. Shit was created by the supreme turd Duda'h (The Mighty Doo Doo Turd)and its worshippers read from The Book of Duda'h about the awesome powers of the shit-turd. The Book of Duda'h teaches that The Mighty Doo Doo Turd communicated to chosen people through what is called a "Hawning" where The Mighty Doo Doo Turd births himself into living form in a host during defecation. Those people who do not believe in the powers of The Mighty Doo Doo Turd are anti-shittists.

The Shittist religion is the only true religion!!!!!!!!! All praise due to The Mighty Doo Doo Turd.

shittist by Mr. Dwayne June 15, 2008

shittish 

A derogatory term which refers to the policy of compulsory teaching of Swedish language to Finnish people.

More generally, any unwanted imposition of a foreign language or culture on a people.

In Finland, 95% of the population are native Finnish language speakers. It is considered one of the most linguistically homogenous countries in the world. Yet a small anti-Finnish elite imposes a policy which has been compared to South African apartheid in the 20th century.

Shittish refers not only to the compulsory teaching of Swedish, but also the requirements for proficiency in Swedish for many government jobs in Finland.

The policy is considered outdated but is kept in place by massive funding from Sweden and bribery of Finland's government officials. Over ten years of reputable public polling have shown that around 70% of Finns want an end to Shittish.

The policy is also called "åpårtheid", a word containing the Swedish "Å" character not used in the Finnish alphabet.

Finland is a Finnish country, not Shittish.

What is the government trying to do, make us Shittish?

Because of the Shittish policy, we are being forced to learn French to qualify for government jobs, even though we are Indian

shittish by Eva Ahl July 20, 2006

The Shitis 

The gastrointestinal distress felt as a consequence of eating at the cultural phenomenon known as Denny's. A combination of The Itis and The Shits, Shitis takes effect the instant the Denny's waitress brings your check. Early symptoms include nausea, bloating, lethargy and a sense of extreme drowsiness.

In the later stages, those affected will experience bloating, smelly gas, and explosive greasy leakage from the anus, too horrible to be considered an average case of diarrhea.

The only effective treatment for The Shitis is to build up a tolerance for food considered unsafe for human consumption. This can be accomplished by regularly consuming Fried Cheese Melts at Denny's topped with bacon, and a side of fries.

I was about to get some after taking my girl out to Denny's, but I developed The Shitis during foreplay and made a mess. At least it was in her bed and not mine.

The Shitis by Dark Chocolate V2 March 18, 2013

anti-shittist 

One who does not accept the Mighty Doo Doo Turd (Duda'h) as his personal savior.

Anti-shittists try to redicule the shittist religion

anti-shittist by Mr. Dwayne June 15, 2008

Shitism 

The practice of substituting words or parshall words in a sentence with 'shit'.

Invented by Jim Lahey, a character in Trailer Park Boys (R.I.P.).

"Lahey that's enough with the shitisms"

Examples of a shitism are:

The winds of shit are upon us!

I can smell a shiticane coming Randy!

You idiots have loaded up a double barrel shit machine gun and it's pointed right at your own heads

Shitism by 123pshyc! July 8, 2018

Shitism 

Shitism is a political and economic theory where you make money by taking shit's everyday inside a toilet, were the shit inside goes into the sewers, scans the shit to see if its actual shit or not by testing it with some automatic machine DNA cum shit 2.0 thing, then takes that shit, turns into real money and turns into a $10 dollar bill and sends it right up the toilet where the hole is. The money you make from the shit only goes to you and nobody else unless if you decide if you want to share the $10 dollar bill. -Shabaan

I love shitism, it's the best way to make money by taking shits everyday!

Niggaman: Wow this is so useful! I can't wait to take shits now!

Shitism by I love to shit May 26, 2021