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secretarial assistance 

(verb) 1. The offer of services of a sexual nature toward a work colleague by member of the work secretarial pool;

(verb) 2. The provision of, or assistance with, sexual services from someone who is otherwise employed as a secretary.
Person 1: Has Parkie got a license to drive the bus, or is it just his mates?

Person 2: I think it is just his mates. But hey, did you hear Parkie got some secretarial assistance last night after ten-pin bowling.
secretarial assistance by choogil February 12, 2012
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Secretarial Brain Pool 

The theory that secretaries of the world draw on a communal brain pool which is monopolized by a few, leaving the majority to fight for the scraps of left-over intelligence. Hence the high turnover rate of secretaries in offices. The longer you work in an office, the more this theory reinforces itself.
"Wow, your secretary seems to do a really good job."
"Yeah, she's pretty high up in the secretarial brain pool."

secretarial condom 

The rubber finger tips you put on your finger for sorting papers, so you don't have to lick your fingers first.
She always practices safe sorting at work. Whenever there are documents to be sorted, she always puts on a secretarial condom before she stuffs his envelope.
secretarial condom by RickyDash March 13, 2018

secretarial spread 

Secretarial Spread
Secretarial spread means sitting down for a long period of time while the hind-end spreads outward in order to accommodate the chair. It can be changed with exercise, and activity away from sitting down on one's spread for too many hours a day.
Secretarial Spread
The rear end spreads, the separation spreads wider, and the hips get larger.
secretarial spread by Debra Powers September 25, 2006