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Akiva Schaffer 

A member of The Lonely Island, a comedy troupe that currently works on Saturday Night Live, Akiva Schaffer writes Saturday Night Live's Digital Shorts along with Jorma Taccone. They usually have third Lonely Island member Andy Samberg as the star. Akiva Schaffer directed The Lonely Island's film: Hot Rod, and has driected a number of music videos for We Are Scientists and Eagles of Death Metal, and more, as well as SNL's digital shorts. Akiva seems to be the least known and recognized member of The Lonely Island, though he has many fans and admirers. He is also called Kiv.
Ryan:"Hey did you know Akiva Schaffer directed that one We Are Scientists music video?"

Steven: "You mean Kiv from The Lonely Island?"

Ryan:"Yeah!"

Steven:"Wow that's awesome!"

Chloe: "Kiv is so dreamy."

schmalfeldt 

Internet term. Verb. To invalidate your overly liberal position in an online debate by making veiled threats against the life or sexual dignity of your opponent's spouse or child, or faked threats against your own life.
Wow, dude just totally schmalfeldted himself!
schmalfeldt by LeroyOddswatch March 7, 2014

Shaffeln 

Walking really slow by moving your weight a little bit forward so that you'll move without putting an effort in it.
Cool guy: Hey there, SNAIL... YOU ARE SLOW
Idc: I ain't I Shaffel

When 2 or more people do it, it is called Shaffeln
Shaffeln by Vipee April 19, 2010

schwaffle 

slapping another human being across the face with a penis
i sure sure schwaffled her good the other day, she was mildly amused.
schwaffle by schwaffle king June 1, 2006

Jon Schaffer 

Jon Schaffer is a heavy metal guitarist and songwriter. He is the founder and only remaining original member of the heavy metal band Iced Earth. His most distinctive element of playing is his stuttering right-hand gallop which sounds like a tremendously sped up version of the 'eighth-note, two-sixteenth-notes' gallop made famous by Iron Maiden's bass player/songwriter Steve Harris. That sound cannot be
imitated by any other guitar player. When you hear Jon Schaffer, you think Iced Earth. Because Jon Schaffer IS Iced Earth.
Jon Schaffer is the guitarist for Iced Earth.
Jon Schaffer by Mike L. Richard February 9, 2008
Swaffeling is the way to drive the woman (or if you prefer man, such as some dubious characters) of your dreams to new unprecedented heights and fabulous moments of pleasure. Only men can practice this erotic expression (women also, provided that they are in the possession of sex toys).

The swaffel stands or falls with an important factor. The swaffeller must be in the possession of a so-called top-heavy penis. This means that the penis must not be fully stiffened, though it mustn't be soft either. Top-heavy is a state in which the penis hangs approximately horizontally, and it in which is possible to swing with the penis. Then, take the object to be swaffeled (by preference women's bottom, leg or breast) and slap it gently. Do not hit too hard to prevent bruises and broken bones.

History:
Adam and Eve appear to have done it, the Romans enjoyed it very much on their 40 years lasting journey through the desert, the Jews enjoyed it...
And then in the early middle ages, the noble art of swaffeling was lost. Many feared that the swaffel phenomenon had been taken away forever from mankind, however, on a booze-holiday in Blanes a group of youngsters rediscovered swaffeling, and even perfected it!
Hebbben we weer lekker zitten swaffelen.
To be swaffeled.
To swaffel.
I swaffel, you swaffel, we swaffel.