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1.
A seemingly harmless disease, vivified by ones entrance into an institution of higher education, resulting in assholism, severe cases of jerkherria and the rare but horrid instances of nausea imposed on others. Most common symptoms include a desperate urge for attention and a pathetic need to prove oneself to others. Causes behind the disease have eluded researchers for decades, since many of them suffer from severe cases of scholasticitis themselves. Although speculations suggest an increase in one's production of self-assumed intelligence might be the cause behind this ruthless disease.

Easy ways to spot victims of scholasticitis include the following simple tests:
1. Subject has difficulty passing a single day without correcting someone.
2. Subject believes that scholasticitis probably indicates some form of praise that he/she/it will then proceed to define themselves.
3. Subject will attempt to correct the grammar, spelling, punctuation and/or logic behind this very definition of their condition.
That is one pretentious jerk, perhaps he suffers from scholasticitis.

Scholasticitis has ruined my friendships. (Proclaimed by a reformed victim of a prior case of scholasticitis)
by Richard Dick Smithsonian III November 10, 2010