Someone who you know personally, and by the power of alcohol turns into a philosopher, problem solver, oratory genius spouting long monologues on the meaning of life though they are so drunk that they don’t know shit from shinola and pull phrases out of their ass that don't make sense.
Mike - "You know what you need to do? You need,……… you need,…………. you need to bandage your ass in the ether

Me - "What the hell does that even mean?

Mike - "You know what, you just don't get it, you just don't understand!

Me - " Mike you’re a Schizoanalfreliac"
by Kahnnn December 18, 2013
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