saltaire

the best place in the entire world. on fire island new york, this is a tiny town with the best people. there is absolutely nothing to do here in the best way. most people spend their days going from the beach, to the playground, to the market and those are the only three things in town. the adult men’s softball league is taken very seriously and all the real locals attend all the games. the drinking age here is only 14, and everyone uses the same overpriced dealer so you can trust your weed! all the real locals attended saltaire day camp, went to doctor bob for splinters, and were yelled at by the bay lifeguards. got a problem? post it on simply saltaire. this facebook group has been known to save countless lost children. saltaire is the happiest place on earth.

of course, there are rules
no shoes ever
always be wearing a bathing suit
bike everywhere
the bike cannot be new
go in the ocean
smoke as much as possible
the bay is gross
no tourists allowed
kismet is scary
learn how to sail
wear your sunscreen!!!

person 1: where do you summer?
person 2: a small island off of long island.

person 1: just say you go to the hamptons
person 2: EW no. i go to saltaire on fire island
person 1: omg i’m so jealous

by saltairian December 24, 2021

Saltaire, Fire Island

A place where kids can fuck around with friends they’ve known since they were 4 years old (thanks to the Saltaire day camp)… also known as a place where young adolescents gather in empty trap houses to get high and then go to the beach the next day, just to do it all over again.
Rules:
Only bikes
Barefoot
Locals only
Get drunk on bay picnic
Hu on lifeguard beach chairs

Notable residents
Ted and Jen of the Saltaire day camp!!!
Doctor bob
Patrick - Saltaire market
All of the public safety officers.
The lifeguards
Will Schiff

“This summer in Saltaire, Fire Island, we’re gonna get drunk at the bay picnic!!!!!”

by FireIslandFuckery December 24, 2021