n. A large
American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male
redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless
America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "
Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc.
May be adorned with a Jesus
fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-
redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the
redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning,
Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening,
Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday,
Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
