A foul retail beastie that manifests itself as an
individual who waits
well beyond any rational deadline to begin a MASSIVE project and then proceeds to make everyone in the service industry who is within their sphere of influence subservient to the process of completing the project on
time. Generally supercedes the needs of the less severe but equally disturbing "Procrastidons" who roam in vast aimless herds intent on bothering various retail clerks with super-innocuous pseudo-questions and random requests, most of which are completely irrelevant to the task at
hand but are invoked nonetheless.
Kinkos
wonk:"May I help you?"
Procrastidon 1: "Hi, yes I need..."
Procrastidon 2: "Wait, Me. I always
go first..."
Procrastidon 3: "I gotta have this 10 minutes ago yesterday. Step aside."
Procrastidon 4:" It says 'copies' on the sign out front. Do you wash cars? Do you like your job?"
Procrastisaurus:"OUTTA THE WAY! THIS IS A MATTER OF UNMATCHED URGENCY! NOW MOVE IT!"
Kinkos
wonk: "Sir, this person was here before y..."
Procrastisaurus:"YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF THE MAGNITUDE OF URGENCY ATTACHED TO THIS PROJECT! CLEAR THE WAY YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!!!"
Kinkos
wonk:" I have to go take a shit..."
Procrastisaurus:"AAAAARRRGHHHHHH!!!!
BOOM!!!"
Procrastidon 1: " Oh cool...his
head blew up."
Procrastidon 4:"Can I...like... get that car wash now but without the car
cuz...like... that loud
guy got brains all over my fries n' stuff and I can't eat 'em now. Can I get another order of fries instead? Where am I?
