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porch monkey 

someone without a job that sits on their porch all day drink'n 40's, and trading food stamps for crack.
porch monkey by pickledspork July 23, 2005

Retarded porch monkey 

Used as a roast or to show that someone is so stupid that they belong in the jungle
Man: *holding phone* where is my phone
Woman: in your hand you retarded porch monkey

porch monkey 

guy 1:hey look at those porch monkeys over there
guy 2: haha yeah, come and clean my shoes you porch monkey
porch monkey by k0_ November 29, 2018

porch monkey 

a derogatory way of describing an person of African decent
hey porch monkey--you got the money you owe me for the crack rock I sold you?
porch monkey by charlie December 9, 2003

Porch Monkey 

1. This refers to a person who dabbles in the Greco-Roman philosophy of stoicism but seems to, choose to lack the maturity or discipline to truly practice it in any serious sense.

Stoicism's origin stepms from the Greek phrase "Stoa Poikile" which translates to "painted porch." "Stoa" meaning porch. Thus they inhabit the porch but have all the seriousness and dedication a monkey would have toward serious philosophy.
2. Porch monkey is also a derogatory term to someone who practices stoic philosophy.
3. Porch monkey is also a highly derogatory term for black person and typically has no bearing on his philisophical outlooks.

Usage note: To avoid being seen as a racist, only use this term to refer to stoics who cannot be mistaken for people of color.
1. "Alexander says he is a stoic, but after seeing his temper tantrum the other day, I'm starting to think he's just a porch monkey."
2. "Lucius is lecturing us all again about how we shouldn't let our emotions control our character. He's such a porch monkey."
3. "Kwame thought Bob was lashing out at him for being a stoic when Bob called him a "porch monkey," but Bob was simply an obnoxious racist. Kwame practiced stoicism however and laughed it off, just making non-stoic Bob angrier.
Porch Monkey by revoLucian1776 February 14, 2023

ALABAMA PORCH MONKEY 

a derogatory word for a person of African descent; a negro
1. The Alabama porch monkey tends to be lazy and would rather draw welfare than work.
2.The Alabama porch monkey likes to wear gold chains and drink malt liquor.