A lazy oil changing sign guy. Looks black but talks white
Shef doesn't do shit on his day off and sleeps with dirty white women. He loves Gixxer Mike. Shef be a porch monkey
by WD40 December 7, 2007
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1. This refers to a person who dabbles in the Greco-Roman philosophy of stoicism but seems to, choose to lack the maturity or discipline to truly practice it in any serious sense.

Stoicism's origin stepms from the Greek phrase "Stoa Poikile" which translates to "painted porch." "Stoa" meaning porch. Thus they inhabit the porch but have all the seriousness and dedication a monkey would have toward serious philosophy.
2. Porch monkey is also a derogatory term to someone who practices stoic philosophy.
3. Porch monkey is also a highly derogatory term for black person and typically has no bearing on his philisophical outlooks.

Usage note: To avoid being seen as a racist, only use this term to refer to stoics who cannot be mistaken for people of color.
1. "Alexander says he is a stoic, but after seeing his temper tantrum the other day, I'm starting to think he's just a porch monkey."
2. "Lucius is lecturing us all again about how we shouldn't let our emotions control our character. He's such a porch monkey."
3. "Kwame thought Bob was lashing out at him for being a stoic when Bob called him a "porch monkey," but Bob was simply an obnoxious racist. Kwame practiced stoicism however and laughed it off, just making non-stoic Bob angrier.
by revoLucian1776 February 15, 2023
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A person willing to do basically any household chore, yard work, errands etc. for their local drug dealers in exchange for drugs.
Porch monkeys are some of the best ass kissing people you've ever met!
by Jinx Breece May 27, 2017
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A lazy person who sits on a porch all day and stares at their neighbors
Look at that fucking porch monkey neighbor of ours, all he does is look at us all day.
by MUKUM January 6, 2009
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A gangster wannabe that talks about being gangster when all he does is sit on steps and talk about being gangster to other wannabe gangsters
-Yo so this dude was disrespecting me, I would have stabbed him but i don't need heat from the 5-0
-Dude you've been sitting on the porch for the past week you porch monkey
by Dago Power September 9, 2010
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A lazy black man, who sits on his porch drinking and trading his food stamps for crack.
Damn porch monkeys, cant they just get a job!
by Luvs2Spooge January 12, 2008
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Look at that fucking porch monkey eating fried chicken, watermelon, and washing it down with a Lil Hug juice drink. Fucking niggers.
by Filthy Sally December 11, 2008
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