PHONECUFFER: Hey, there's this one really weird question on the physics homework
VICTIM: Okay, let's see…
10 minutes later
PHONECUFFER: Yeah, thanks man.
VICTIM: No problem.
PHONECUFFER: By the way, did you hear about that idiot?
VICTIM: Oh yeah!
16 minutes later
PHONECUFFER: But then I realized that 5 Hour Energy is better than Vault.
VICTIM: That's cool, but I've got this paper that's due in 72 hours.
PHONECUFFER: I see.
27 minutes later
PHONECUFFER: And so I dug it up on YouTube last night and I thought it was mediocre.
PHONECUFFER: I mean people think he's an idiot…
PHONECUFFER: But really he can be hilarious, like when…
VICTIM: (thinks "I have a paper to work on and he's talking about the crappiest move that was ever made.")
38 minutes later
PHONECUFFER: But then I realized that if you stand eight feet away, you get the most accuracy.
VICTIM: That's cool, but I really need to work on that paper.
22 minutes later
PHONECUFFER: So he just stared off into space and was like "Whoa!".
VICTIM: (monotone) That's weird. (thinks "I've told him about the paper six times and he's still phonecuffing me!")