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Not fucking patriotic enough

You're so horrible at your job you don't deserve your government position.
Alejandro Mayorkas is not fucking patriotic enough.

Im not fucking with you 

Im not playing anymore: im getting serious
Usually used when someone is pissed off.
Look im not fucking with you anymore go wash the dishes.

i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head 

Used to describe your non-involvment in anything that you are watching in person. Especially if what you are watching is not something someone should be doing.
Another way of saying "Don't ask me, I just work here" or "I'm just a by stander to this party"

Person A: Why is that guy got his dick hanging over the banister
You: i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head.

Self-aggrandizing 5-headed dawrf promotes sect of church that is explicitly known for fucking little boys in the butt and disparages men who dress like clown women and NOT fucking boys in the butt 

It speaks for itself though doesn't it?
Hym "Breaking! Self-aggrandizing 5-headed dawrf promotes sect of church that is explicitly known for fucking little boys in the butt but disparages men who dress like clown women and DON'T fuck little boys in the butt. He has to pretend I don't exist because if we both have cameras pointed at us at the same time, I'm going to bet him that I can fuck his wife better than him, and then he immediately loses the interaction because he knows that I'm right and framing reality in the way that you want it to be perceived for your viewers IS BETTER truth. It's more true than truth. It's YOUR truth. And people like it because it's a VERSION of truth that affirms his narcissistic delusions of superiority. Now, I know what you're thinking 'But Hym! I thought there was no such thing as "versions" of truth! You said there is only THE truth' and you're right! But I just say shit that I don't believe sometimes and have no responsibility to maintain any kind of continuity of thought or belief."

Iam "Ope... It says it's loading but I highly doubt they have a gif for 'Self-aggrandizing 5-headed dawrf promotes sect of church that is explicitly known for fucking little boys in the butt and disparages men who dress like clown women and NOT fucking boys in the butt'... Instead I'll just do a cat. Meow. That'll lighten the mood... There. "

Well you’re not fucking wrong, Mel. 

When someone says something blatnetly obvious.
“I know you’ve quit and don’t really care but..”
-Well you’re not fucking wrong, Mel.

I'm not fucking with you 

Just something to say when you're really fucking serious, not to be considered as sexual intercourse, Stirling you dumbfuck.