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A extinct sort of male human characterized by kindness, caring, and finishing last. Some claim to have seen or even met a nice guy, but experts agree that they died out many years ago.
Too bad there aren't any nice guys any more.
by liz January 15, 2005
A man wasting his penis. He'll never get any pussy, of any kind (unless he rapes the chick). He's never seen breasts outside of the internet. He's a blackened husk of a man, and a worthless heap of dust. This is the kind of guy women just love to hate. This is the kind of guy who thinks he's getting somewhere with a woman, but is actually nothing more than "Friend" material to any being wielding a vagina. He pines over the girl, and when he doesn't get her, he claims to all of his friends that he's dating her, or is in the "process of", which basically means he's stalking her. He has pictures of her sleeping on his walls, hes got shrines and shit, and he whacks off to her image. Nightly.
That nice guy wont stop calling me, and hes knocking at my front door.
by Landon Flanagan December 08, 2006
A nice guy is the no-in between guy. He is either bald or so exceptionally hairy that he creates shade like a willow tree. He may be shaped like Baby Hughey or thinner than a crack whore (although he will neither use crack or be a whore since he's a nice guy.) In fact they are often virgins (naturally or born again) and volunteer time and funds to drug rehabiliation and other noteworthy programs. The nice guy may have impaired vision and wear thick glasses that create the highly undesirable affects of a funhouse mirror.Other nice guys may have excellent vision in their eyes that bulge, wander or cry frequently. The NICE GUY makes an excellent friend as he picks up tabs, earns trust, runs errands, rarely complains, watches chick flicks, rubs your feet, accepts collect calls, posts bail, and holds a steady job. He is however, unworthy of being kissed or touched in a romantic way - because you can treat the Nice guy anyway you wish and he will accept you with open arms. There is no need to praise, or show positive emotion or affection toward the nice guy... he's loyal as a pooch.
Nice Guy: "We've been friends for a long time now - and I feel really close to you..."
Woman: (immediately interrupts to break his heart) "You're a NICE GUY... but I don't want to ruin our friendship"
by Laurie7s March 18, 2006
The pansy that has been raised to treat women with "respect" and "dignity" and feels obliged that the woman owes him a relationship in return. Most likely the girl will say, "You're a nice guy, etc..." and he will be relegated to puppy love flirting and countless hours of masturbation using his tears as lubrication. He will then become so pissed off, he will rant about how women don't see him for what he is and that all us bad boys get the women. Ultimately the nice guy will try to become a "bad boy" himself but just be made a fool of himself by girls that see him attempting to hide his insecurites, forcing him to revert back to his nice guy ways and the cycle starts all over again.
Hot Latina Chick - John is such a nice guy! He sees me for who I am and is always there for me!

Bad Boy - Would you fuck him?

Hot Latina Chick - Oh, God no! This is all yours.

Grow some balls, nice guys! Don't put the pussy on a pedastal!
by DaBoss November 27, 2006
a guy, usually bisexual or homosexual, who will swallow semen when someone ejaculates into his mouth.
Bad guys suck. I'm a nice guy.
by blowboy August 26, 2007
1. The types of guys girls always equate into pussies (or a pussy), as they compensate for its lack of looks with dedication, knowledge and sincerity.
Girl 1: Look at that guy over there! He's cute. :)
Girl 2: Nah. He's a nice guy. And you do know what nice guys are? PUSSIES!
by Tim1986 May 19, 2006
Nice guys are covert bastards who are just waiting for opportunities to destroy women. Their feigned niceness is just that - feigned. This does not apply to homosexual nice guys who are, in reality, nice. The source of this discrepancy is not known.

For women, nice guys are best handled by using what little they have to offer, and then having nothing more to do with them. Their wisdom, principles and sober thinking are valuable at certain times, and their feigned niceness makes them easy to talk to. However, women are advised not to offer anything more than friendship to them.

Apart from these aspects, nice guys offer precious little to society. In fact, they are causing the deterioration of Western society with their faggy books, computers and telescopes. Haha, telescopes. They possess inferior genes in comparison to Real Men (TM). Nice guys are inherently unable to provide a woman with a good hard fucking, because just look at them. They're too nice.
Things nice guys may (or may not) say:

1. Haha, just LOOK at that skinny guy. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? YOU WANT YOUR ASS KICKED?!

2. Get me another beer, love.

3. Girl, Imma treat you so right, you know ah alwez doo. Jyea.

4. Show us your tits! Ack-hurhurhurhur.

5. Is that your car? Ack-hurhurhurhur.
by Guy (nice) September 18, 2007