Nice Guy
1. Term commonly used for self-description by men who routinely fail to capture the interest of any women. The name is a misnomer because typically these men fail to exhibit any attitudes or behaviors that would distinguish them as "nice". These men are the lifeblood of the mail order bride industry.

Characteristics include:
-Lack of any backbone or moral fiber that would allow them to even consider that perhaps their own faults and shortcomings are the root of their problems
-Bitterness and self-pity that is expressed by pronouncing all women idiots who would rather date jerks
-delusions of grandeur/revenge fantasies in which at age 40-50 they will suddenly become irresistible to 20-something Angelina Jolie (except hotter)look-alikes while all the women who rejected them decades earlier will be single and living with 200 cats.
I'm 35 years old and still living at home, I have no life, and the only girlfriend I've ever had is made out of plastic, but women don't want me because I'm such a nice guy.
by Suki March 25, 2005
Commonly referred to as an "average frustrated chump". A man that due to his stubborn kindness to everyone fails to get any respect as he never complains about the treatment he gets from women and thus lacks a backbone. Lacking the principle of discipline his offspring, if any, will grow up to be assholes due to the way the nice guy rewards bad behaivor.

The easiest way to have this paradox of the nice guy / jerk be defeated would be to have women stop acting like nice guys and dump jerks rather than reward bad behaivor with sex.
Wow. He is such a nice guy, buying me flowers, taking me out to dinner and paying the tab, listening to my problems, helping me out with my car, and asking for nothing in return. He sometimes asks for sex but doesn't get it and does favors for me anyway. What a tool!
by noshi May 10, 2006
A fuck up to the highest degree, probably an even less desirable title than that of the "loser". An 11 on the creep scale. He always seems to have a giant smile on his face... and is TOO FUCKING NICE!

A nice guy is a mysogynic creep that just wants to get some and could never be satisfied with a platonic relationship with a woman, let alone a casual conversation with one. And uses the only positive trait, being nice, to attempt to bed women. In which case will never happen.

Actually, like when ur in class you are in dire need of a pencil, dont barrow from the nice guy, he's going to smile at you, give it to you, and then say to himself, "OH BABY YOU ARE THE ONE, AWWW HO HO MARRRRRY MEEEEE!"

Uh... yeaaaaahhh. Eat shit and die.

A nice guy absoulity has to have pussy. Actually one time I got so stoned, I saw what the fourth layer of a nice guy, he kinda looked like gollum from the lord of the rings and kept saying he needed pussy over and over. Yah, it was pretty gey.

A nice guy defines himself as a guy that can't get a girlfriend becase he doesn't treat women like shit. Which is totally wrong because in fact women love men with manners. They just hate creeps that "coincidently" know their name already, and just so happen to be at the same place as them... always.

In my opinion, nice guys are gey. You don't want to be a nice guy.

If you were titled a nice guy by a woman, then you have failed. Here's my smith and wesson, you know what you have to do.

Now you know what a nice guy is. It's actually pretty awful if you ask me.
Jessie:

That nice guy with the top hat and over coat that wanders around in the park is sure a creep. He kept saying he needed pussy. What the fuck is his problem?

Oh, and my girlfriend was sitting next to happen and he started being nice to her, and she's like totally boyfriend bomed him.

Beverly: "Yeah, the weather sure is nice, my BOYFRIEND brought me here to feed the geese.
by go kart mozart August 28, 2009
A extinct sort of male human characterized by kindness, caring, and finishing last. Some claim to have seen or even met a nice guy, but experts agree that they died out many years ago.
Too bad there aren't any nice guys any more.
by liz January 15, 2005
A male that is practically busted in every way except for his kindness.Equivelent of a fat chick,He tries to impress women by acting like a bad boy,but the women see through him because he doesn't have the physical assets of the bad boys,he tries to dress and act like them but realizes that he only looks stupid and also realizes that you can't polish a turd.A nice guy trying to be a bad-boy by dressing and acting like them is like trying to put high performance parts on a Yugo it only makes it look stupid.He only gets promises of relationships from fat300 lb.,bald ugly chicks that can't get anybody else,or just gets used by even average looking women let alone attractive women,he always has too high of standards.He then realizes that it's not what's on the inside that matters,It's what's on the outside.So the only way a nice guy can have success with attractive women is if he hits the lottery or gets plastic surgery,but then again you have to hit the lottery to be able to have the plastic surgery that you need to be attractive enough.So he ends up dying alone and broke.
nice guy-So how was the date.Attractive girl-I'll call you.He thinks he's in but he was out before the date even started she just went out on a date out of pity.
by John Hitchner April 27, 2007
A man wasting his penis. He'll never get any pussy, of any kind (unless he rapes the chick). He's never seen breasts outside of the internet. He's a blackened husk of a man, and a worthless heap of dust. This is the kind of guy women just love to hate. This is the kind of guy who thinks he's getting somewhere with a woman, but is actually nothing more than "Friend" material to any being wielding a vagina. He pines over the girl, and when he doesn't get her, he claims to all of his friends that he's dating her, or is in the "process of", which basically means he's stalking her. He has pictures of her sleeping on his walls, hes got shrines and shit, and he whacks off to her image. Nightly.
That nice guy wont stop calling me, and hes knocking at my front door.
by Landon Flanagan December 08, 2006
a guy, usually bisexual or homosexual, who will swallow semen when someone ejaculates into his mouth.
Bad guys suck. I'm a nice guy.
by blowboy August 26, 2007

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