A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”
The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
A guy who always gets the short end of the stick and "finishes" last and is often overlooked by women and never really appreciated by the woman of his interest, no matter what he does. Women don’t often think of him as being much more than just a good friend; they only rely on him to listen to their problems or to hang out with, but would never consider dating him. He has a hard time getting a girlfriend because, God forbid, he has average looks with an average physique, and she would rather date a handsome dumb jock with a nice car, who treats her terribly, than to date an average guy. He frequently gets rejected by women because they are driven by their self-centeredness and superficiality, and don’t realize that he is the man of her dreams and right in front of her. In his childhood he was probably one of the last kids to be picked on the team to play kickball when he was a good player. And he may have even been bullied as a kid. The nice guy is probably a lonely person who just wants to fall in love and get married like everyone else, but for some reason women and people miss out on who he is. As a result of his lonliness and his natural need for sex and intimacy and relationships, he will get off on himself, only wishing he could share his life and body with the woman of his dreams. He probably has a lot of lonely nights, and the only time a woman sleeps with him or ever finds him attractive is because she is drunk. The nice guy will genuinely go out of his way to hel...more...
The type of man preferred by normal, psychologically healthy women, such as those who inhabit places like Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe. However, the nice guy gets little play from modern Western women, due to them being deranged, mentally ill skanks who enjoy being used and abused by creeps and players.
Nice guys *do* get laid--just not by mentally ill skanks like most modern Western women are.
1. They finish last.
2. Permanent residents of the friend zone
Yup, Howard's going the way of the nice guys. He'll never make it out of the friend zone.
A misnomer. Nice Guy is nice with an ulterior motive; he believes pretending to be a decent human being entitles him to endless sex with his unfortunate female target. Instead of openly expressing interest and then moving on if rejected, the Nice Guy prefers to attach himself like a barnacle to one woman, hoping that if he pretends to care about her feelings long enough, he'll get at least an awkward handjob in the bathroom. Nice Guy is then bewildered when acting like a friend results in his getting treated like a friend. The advanced-level Nice Guy will call his lady of choice a frigid bitch while simultaneously patting himself on the back for being so nice. Nice Guy fails to understand that acting nice in hopes of getting sex is not actually the same as being nice, and as a result can be found in his natural habitat martyring himself all over the internet.
If women really only dated assholes, then "Nice Guys" would have no problems getting women.
1. A guy who might very well get laid a ton but will never pleasure fuck someone he knows is vulnerable. A nice guy is just as capable of casual sex as anyone else but he'll give you the heads up.
2. A guy who is usually very handsome and secure enough about himself to empathize with women. He might have problems fitting in for not betraying his values but he persists.
3.A man often derided by ugly jocks and stupid girls who equate the presence of empathy in a person with an absence of confidence.
4. A very cool, profound man who often possesses great artistic gifts. He may grow up to be a rockstar and laugh in the faces of the petty little shitheads who teased him for not fitting in.
5. A man who will kick your ass just as fast as any other if you mess with him but would not dare hit his wife or girlfriend.
That cool rocker was a nice guy who was opposed to sexism with a passion. I'll be damned if he didn't kick that jock shithead's ass though...
The nice guy is the tragic hero in relationships:
He's the one that will stand by a woman all his life, despite the fact the woman will never care for him the way he does for her. She will bitch to him about her failing conquests, use him as a makeshift therapist and shun his efforts to initiate a relationship. Whilst she continues to live in sin the guy will beat himself up over why he has not been able to maintain a relationship, continually asking why his efforts are in vain and why women no longer appreciate gentlemen. When the woman is finally ready to settle down she will crawl back to the nice guy, knowing that he will accept her despite everything because he would do anything for her. Eventually the nice guy realises that his love life has been a hollow victory, and that he would have been better off as the shallow, arrogant jerks the woman pursued in the first place. Sucks doesn't it...
Gentlemen have become a dying breed, because women are not prepared to save them.
Girl 1: All I'm looking for is a nice guy who actually cares about me...
Girl 2: Sure, whatever you say there...
A nice guy who always gets screwed at the end.
A nice guy whos friend is a girl who you happen to like talks about her problems but still stays with the douche bag shes going out with.