Top Definition

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."

"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 03, 2005
A man who always gets screwed by a chick but never gets laid.
Dude #1: Damn, Cynthia went out to dinner with me, talked about her problems, then got back with her crappy ex.
Dude #2: Thats what you get for being a nice guy: Always screwed, never laid.
by Justin The Box October 20, 2007
Living proof that human evolution has yet to progress to the point where the female's genes have been reprogrammed to finally ignore the primitive and obsolete alpha male and expand their sexual relations to the more intelligent and advanced beta male. This is why 21st century women are still compelled to be sexually attracted to aggressive assholes who treat them like crap instead of reserved guys who treat them with dignity and respect, e.g. nice guys. As a result, nice guys are normally single because women are naturally repelled by them.
Women like nice guys, but won't date them.
by DeskFlyer August 24, 2007
A nice guy is either one of two types:

The first being a guy who is genuinely kind and caring. He is polite to everyone regardless of sex, age or race. He has no ulterior motive, i.e. he is not nice to get a reward, he behaves as such because it's human decency.

The second kind of nice guy is the one who has ulterior motives. He believes that because he behaves in a certain way the world owes him for his actions. He doesn't make it clear what he desires from the beginning and becomes angry when he doesn't get what he wants.
"So Steve's helping his neighbor move today".

"Really? I hope he gets a reward".
"Oh, he doesn't want one, he's just a nice guy".

"Did you hear? Apparently Matt had a fit when that girl wouldn't go out with him".
"What did he do? Insult her?"
"No, he befriended her and pulled a nice guy act".
"What a dick!"
by Didget98 June 02, 2013
A guy who would do anything for his love to make them feel appreciated, would go out of their way and accomodate anything they have to do, and love them for who they are and never jeopardize a relationship, yet we still finish last. many girls date assholes and constantly bitch about how there arent any nice guys around anymore, but in reality, we're easier to find than you think, but you still continue to date assholes even if a nice guy is right in front of you. also if your extremely shallow it will be difficult.
Most girls now a days are shallow and continue to date assholes even though nice guys do exist, alot who are even good looking as well, its not as hard to come across as you think.
by mpctv December 05, 2007
A guy who always gets the short end of the stick and "finishes" last and is often overlooked by women and never really appreciated by the woman of his interest, no matter what he does. Women don’t often think of him as being much more than just a good friend; they only rely on him to listen to their problems or to hang out with, but would never consider dating him. He has a hard time getting a girlfriend because, God forbid, he has average looks with an average physique, and she would rather date a handsome dumb jock with a nice car, who treats her terribly, than to date an average guy. He frequently gets rejected by women because they are driven by their self-centeredness and superficiality, and don’t realize that he is the man of her dreams and right in front of her. In his childhood he was probably one of the last kids to be picked on the team to play kickball when he was a good player. And he may have even been bullied as a kid. The nice guy is probably a lonely person who just wants to fall in love and get married like everyone else, but for some reason women and people miss out on who he is. As a result of his lonliness and his natural need for sex and intimacy and relationships, he will get off on himself, only wishing he could share his life and body with the woman of his dreams. He probably has a lot of lonely nights, and the only time a woman sleeps with him or ever finds him attractive is because she is drunk. The nice guy will genuinely go out of his way to help the girl he has an interest in, but in the end his favors are disregarded. A nice guy always finishes last after bullies, jocks, jerks and rich guys. Evidently, his trustworthiness, honesty and commitment are only secondary to looks, money, and materialism. The interesting thing is that when women get depressed and stressed out being involved with the bad men, they always come back to the nice guy to help them.....until the process starts over again. And then, after decades of being in bad relationships, these same women are all-of-sudden 60-yrs old and single or divorced and wonder why they couldn’t find true love and the man of their dreams, when he was under their nose the whole time.

Basically, a nice guy is the worst insult a guy can receive by the girl he is interested in. It means “you are good enough to talk to and to get to know on a superficial basis out of convenience, but not good enough to get to know on a deeper level or to date.” When the girl I liked talked about me and said I was a “nice guy” to her female friends, I knew my chances of dating her were minute. Being called a “nice guy” is anything but a complement and makes me feel sad.

by krock1dk January 23, 2009
Some poor bastard who gets close to the beautiful girl of his dreams and endures a painfully platonic relationship with her, always there to help her like a demented puppy-dog, in the delusional hope that they may progress to something more. Of course, sometimes he loses his control and blurts out to his ladyfriend that he loves her, only to be told that she wants to be just friends and not ruin the relationship. Sometimes he loses his virginity, sometimes not (though if he does it's with an equally insecure and rejected girl).

Unfortunately, thanks to society's useless teachings, most men fit into this category.
I used to be a nice guy. It sucked.

The nice guy saga concludes to me that women are incredibly stupid. And men are unbelievably pathetic.

Tony Blair is a nice guy. His relationship with Bush is totally platonic, though he wishes it was something more.
by Osamasbitch January 26, 2008
An unattractive, emotionally stunted straight male who whines to female friends and dates, "Girls only like assholes. They don't like nice guys like me." Unlike genuinely kind and intelligent men, who easily find themselves in serious relationships, a "nice guy" wards women off with his abrasive personality, self-pity, and/or slovenly appearance, and blames his sexual rejection on the failings of womankind, while simultaneously imagining himself as nothing but God's gift to them. "If only those dumb bitches knew that I'd treat them right!"

Once in a relationship, a "nice guy" tends to either be verbally abusive or extremely clingy and overbearing.
Go into any mixed group of friends. Say that the statement "girls don't like nice guys" is false. The first guy to cry, "But it's true!" is always the most unattractive person in the group, without fail.
by heyprettybaby December 05, 2010
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