New Testament Christian 

A more liberal and accepting mindset among Christians. In the New Testament of the Bible, focus is directed more towards forgiveness and tolerance rather than the Old Testament themes of absolution and condemnation. Therefore, the Christians who tend not to force Bibles down people's throats are called New Testament Christians.

dude 1: "I accidentally texted Maura while she was at church last night."
dude 2: "Oh great, is she a Bible Thumper or something?"
dude 1: "Nah she's cool about it, she's a New Testament Christian."

New Testament Christian by Dragomir Andreyevich December 17, 2008

New Life Christian Fellowship 

The biggest cult in central Florida.

"Welcome to New Life Christian Fellowship! Where Jesus is Lord and People are Silenced!" - Dictator

New Life Christian Fellowship by Made It Out Alive October 23, 2008

The New Adventures of Old Christine 

A hilarious sitcom starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

The show was about a middle-aged divorced woman named Christine Campbell. She is known as "Old Christine" because her ex-husband Richard's new girlfriend also happens to be named Christine (she is known as "New Christine" because of this). Old Christine lives with her son Richie and her younger brother Matthew. She owns a gym with her best friend Barb. She sends her son Ritchie to a fancy private school and frequently has to deal with the school's two "Meanie Moms" (two rich, blonde, queen-bee moms who always look down on Old Christine).

Old Christine is extremely dumb. For example, she prides herself in being politically active, but her idea of political activism is voting on American Idol. Similarly, she often forgets basic information about herself, such as her age. Richard and New Christine are usually more intelligent than her, but both of them have their moments of stupidity too. Barb and Matthew are usually the voices of reason, but even they have issues.

At first, the show was great. It received nine Emmy nominations and won an Emmy in its first season. By the fifth season, however, the show had degenerated, so it was cancelled.

It's too bad The New Adventures of Old Christine got cancelled. It was really good up until season 5.

The New Adventures of Old Christine by Daedalus Suburbanus June 30, 2012

neochristian 

An individual who calls himself a christian, yet fails to act in accordance with the teachings of Jesus.

I've read the christian gospels, so I am able to spot a neochristian when he isn't hiding behind his false claims.

neochristian by dontknowhim August 16, 2009

Neochristian 

1. Any member, agent, or brainwashed sympathizer of a number of evangelical movements that are purportedly Christian, but which are actually political instruments and/or fundraising/money laundering/human trafficking infrastructure for greasy, stuffy, fork-tongued, blasphemous, racist/xenophobic, misogynistic, hypercapitalist, fascist/imperialist, reptilian pedophiles with no reflections, and million-dollar mansions and private jets, whose only true belief is that means equals rights, masquerading as religion.

2. Unspeakable creatures who have crawled and slithered all the way here from the ninth circle of Hell, to possess the corpse of an evil-doer, deceive, harass and abuse the living, commit atrocities, and desecrate the earth in that person's form, until they are finally stopped by stakes of acacia, oak, hawthorn, or cold iron, driven through the heart while they rest by day upon unconsecrated beds of their host's native soil; or prevented from returning, by stuffing the mouth with garlic, followed by decapitation, weighing down with large stones, flipping the corpse to face downward, or burning and scattering their ashes upon the surface of living waters.

3. A politician in the United States of America, who does not openly profess another religion or atheism.

Since nobody has the balls to look at people's actions and call out their intentions, or fight back against usurpers who want to enslave the populace and live like gods at everyone else's expense, I guess we're just gonna let these spineless, ratfucking neochristians take over the government and lead us into World War 3.

Neochristian by Superfluous Archer January 27, 2024