Believe in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I spent 18 years of my life as a mormon, and have since denounced my "birthright" by finally breaking free from the monotonous thinking and lessons drilled into my head. I have heard all the lessons many, many times and do understand what I'm talking about--- I was once an active mormon who "believed" in it completely. With that being said, let's begin:

They believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, saw God, and translated the golden plates into what is called "The Book of Mormon." (Hence, the term "mormon") They have thirteen articles of faith describing their beliefs.

There are 3 sections of heaven (Celstial being the highest, Telestial is the middle, and Terrestial is the lowest) and "hell" is called "outer darkness" and only very special people who have actually "seen" God and "know" the church is true but deny it go there. Only good mormons get to go to the highest level of heaven and only those in the top will become "Gods" of their own planets. (It's the true belief. I've heard it a billion times. It is also one reason I left the church--- Only mormons are allowed in the highest degree of heaven, but no worries, if you convert you get to be special too! :D ...I find that to be concieted, elitist bull shit.)

*There is to be no sex before marriage. (In fact, it is highly discourage to even engaed in "Passionate Kissing" because it arouses sexual feelings. I don't lie--- see the "Strength of the Youth" pamphlet all lovely mormon kids get. I think that sounds like a scary transition from nothing before marriage to all of a sudden sex after.)
*No drugs, no alcohol, no coffee, and no tea are allowed. (additionally, drinking caffiene is discouraged)
*Guys are encourage to go on missions when they turn 19, though girls can go too if they wish. They pay for it with their own money.(and though people say it's of their own free will, and there is no pressure... there is actually a big deal of pressure and a lot of Mormon girls refuse to marry a guy if they haven't gone on their mission. {I was a mormon. I live in Utah. I have seen that many times.})

*They also believe that being a homosexual is a sin. It is bad to be gay, and the person has "chosen" to be gay rather than being born that way. (One BIG reason I left the church. This has always bugged me. I don't think being gay is a sin, I don't think they choose to be gay, I think it's just predjudice crap.)
*Females' main purpose is to have children and to be a mother. They get no position of power in the church except for over other women. (They try to placate women by saying that they are super duper special because they get to have kids, making them very holy :D yay! ... that's just not even fair. Also, I have had lessons about how it is bad for women to be in the workforce because their place is in the home and that's where god wants them... As you can see, this another reason I left the church--- I get fucked over for being a girl. :D)
*Also, blacks were not allowed to have preisthood (a special gift given only to the men that allows them to bless people, and have high church positions) in the Church until all of a sudden "God" says it's time to give them the power... Amazing how that happened around the same time as the Civil Rights Movement... It certainly wasn't social pressure that made them change their minds about black people... certainly not... it was "God."

I do feel like most people born into the church were brainwashed (but you'll get mauled if you say that to them) but I think they do the best they can. And if it works for them, great! Didn't work for me...

Mormons are typically very nice, helpful people though and I am glad that they stand up for what they believe is true. :) and who knows, maybe they're right... but i doubt it.

Mormons are sexist, homophobic ex-racists... But they mean well and have good beliefs in home, family, and helping others.
by Sai52 May 15, 2008
Top Definition
97% of the people in Utah.

.003% of the people anywhere else.

These really really nice, clean-living people who believe some pretty weird stuff.
"Well I usually try to be good, but I'm no Mormon"
by Bex October 11, 2003
1. 99% live in Utah.
2. Napoleon Dynamite is their hero.
3. believe green jello is a sacred food.
4. have 28045345.5 kids.
5. use slang curse words: oh my ____ (heck, gosh, fetch...)
6. pretty much have the hottest girls around...
Oh my gosh are the Smiths mormons?! We better have a party so they can bring some frickin' sweet green jello!...
by mormonguitardude December 01, 2005
People who believe in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; also (less accurately) known as the Mormon religion. Being Christian, (for they believe in and accept Christ as their Savior, and also strive to live a Christ-centered and Christ-like life), they also believe that Jesus Christ is what the Bible says He is: the son of God the Father. They do not believe in the Trinity, but rather the Godhead: that God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are physically seperate but one in purpose. Many Mormons live in Utah, but the religion is practiced throughout the world. They believe in the Bible and also the Book of Mormon. They believe that the church of Jesus Christ (the same church/religion that Christ established when He came to this world) was restored to its fullness by Joseph Smith through the power of God for the preparation of the Second Coming of Christ.
Mormons are people too, yo.
by Alisa February 21, 2005
The slang term used to refer to members of the LDS religion.
I gave the nice Mormon missionaries cookies, and then told them to go away.
by Zacrey Monte Hansen March 19, 2005
Apparently a very misunderstood religion. Lets get the easy stuff out of the way first: "Mormon" becasuse they have ANOTHER TESTAMENT of JC titled "The Book of Mormon"; they only people practicing polygamy are "fundementalist Mormons" who are not associated with the Mormon Religion at all (Mormons are not polygamists); Actual name of the Church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, LDS for short; and last of all not all of them wear name tags or ride bikes.

Now Joseph Smith (founder) is believed to be a prophet, like moses or ezikiel. He is not worshiped only respected. They still have a prophet to day, who serves until he dies and then the next in line is chosen. He is believed to have been guided by a prophet from the past to a set of golden plates hidden in the woods of new york 100s of years ago. He excavated them, translated them and found them to COMPLIMENT the Bible not contridict it. And through many periods of Divine instruction formed what him and his followers belived to be the closest religion to what JC had when he was in Israel. The BoM does not contridict the bible except to those who interpret it to do so.

Church. They only go for Three hours each sunday, where they recieve instruction from each other not one assigned preacher. As well as partake of the sacrament, very similar to many other christian religions. During the week each age group has and Activity. (i.e. youth, adults, children) designed to enhance brotherhood and faith. Thats it.

Missions. A mission is a religous assignment from the chuch to spread their beliefs. Like many religions do conicidently. All are volutary. The missionary (can be man, women, elderly couple) chooses to go, pays for the whole she-bang and serves his/her time "tracting". They knock on your door and ask you if you want to hear about their church. 99% of all doors knocked on are by referal. (Actually is church policy now I think). So instead of taking it out on these youngmen and women take it out on your friends that probably gave them your name and address. A mission does not have to be served to go to heaven.

Heaven. They believe in three main divisions of heaven: telestial, terestial, and celestial. The equivelant of hell is "outer darkness" the only people who go there are those who know about god and jc and completely reject them as false. ALL others, really all of them (murders, war lords, hate mongers) have a place in one of the levels of heaven. All are paradisical in nature (except outer darkness which is exactly what it sounds like). In the lowest level you will find you hitlers, mureders and such. The second "good" people thats most of us. And last of all the top Celestial, where god himself resides. Those former mortals that live here are god like in all aspects. Advancement is possible, but you can only go up not down.

Big families. Can't really explain this one, they just like to fuck i guess. After marriage ofcourse.

Fact more mormons live in california than in utah. Another fact some world headquarter buildings are in las vegas. Although a high percentage of the population in Utah is mormon it is increasingly smaller every year.

Temples. They are not churches for regular worship. A certain degree of worhtiness must be established before entering. ( a simple interview with a leader about their lifestyle all taken on their word) The reason being is it is a model of heaven as they believe it. Also mormon sealings, not weddings, ocur here. Meaning the family is sealed together for all time and eternity so as to guaruntee there being together in heaven. And yes by proxy dead people can be sealed to living families. Oh and you have to be atleast 18 to enter unless you are a child being sealed to a parnet or a youth (12-17) that are performing proxt baptisms for the dead.

Baptism. Pretty much your run of the mill submersion into water. John the Baptist type of deal. Usually done at eight which is the age determined for a child to make his/her own informed decision ( as biased as it may be).

Over all beliefs> Treat others how you want to be treated, the heaven thing, THE BIBLE ( yes the no shit king james version bible), and any other testiment of JC (including but not limited to the BoM), Families are forever, all basic christian belief. And yes they are christian.

Sorry to burst all of those ignorant bubbles out there but Mormons are no more a cult that the baptists, presbytirian, methodist, Catholics, etc etc. just a normal christian faith with a less than normal beginning.

Don't get me wrong there are a few really pushy mormon assholes out there but there are a lot of pushy assholes from every religious sect out there.
An example would be that mormon kid at your school who you would never know he was mormon unless you asked him because he has none of the trademarks (666, horns, tail, baggy eyes from attending late night cult gatherings). Just a normal kid, perhaps even a friend, doing his best to get to heaven, like so many of you poor opiated souls out there.
by JS agnostic August 06, 2006
People who won't stop coming to my doorstep to tell me the good news.
-Knock knock-

*I walk to the door... open it, and I am greeted by Mormons.*


Hello, I'm Malachi and this is my friend Bob. We're here to tell you the good news!


...go on.


Well sir, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We want to tell you all about the Book of Mormon!

ME, okay.


Do you mind if we come in, sir?


...I guess so?

-5 hours later-


Now that you've been read the complete, unabridged Book of Mormon, how would you like to join our Church?


Oh, no thanks, I've got... agnosticism.

by xanaxslushie May 10, 2007
A member of the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints...who subscribe to the teachings of the Bible and to the Book of Mormon.

Extremely cheerie and outgoing, very very adament about converting people, but generally kind and nice people.
"Oh crap, here comes some mormon missionaries!"
"Yeah but I feel bad hiding cause they are so nice!"
by MsSardonicSmile May 22, 2005
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