The ambulance waiting in the
wings at sporting events to
whisk concussed, paralyzed, and otherwise incapacitated gladiators off to the hospital, which is the first stop of the rest of their lives of
long, slow mental and physical deterioration.
"How many
meathead wagons were should we schedule for this weekend's football game?" - Coach #1
"Ah, fifteen oughta do it." - Coach #2
"Hey, great
thing the 90% of the school's extracurricular budget is for the football program." - Coach #1
"Yeah, no doubt. Just a matter of
time before the library and chorus money gets sent our way, too." - Coach #2