The ambulance waiting in the wings at sporting events to whisk concussed, paralyzed, and otherwise incapacitated gladiators off to the hospital, which is the first stop of the rest of their lives of long, slow mental and physical deterioration.
"How many meathead wagons were should we schedule for this weekend's football
game?" - Coach #1
"Ah, fifteen oughta do it." - Coach #2
"Hey, great thing the 90% of the school's extracurricular budget is for the football
program." - Coach #1
"Yeah, no doubt. Just a matter of time before the library and chorus money gets sent our way, too." - Coach #2