Arse-hole Licence 

If you are a known trouble maker and are regularly mean to people, you can obtain one of these so people can keep track of your unpleasant antics.
This was conceived when it became apparent that Ben Waller was too unpleasant to people, and it was deemed necessary to keep a tab on his bad behaviour by giving him 'Arse-hole points' every time he committed to being mean.
It is possible to remove points from your licence if you do kind and selfless acts, however, just like obesity, it's easier to gain that it is to lose.
Also similar to this is the 'Bitch licence', which works on the same principle but is given to females that deserve it.

Katie: Ben, you've been really mean today, I think you've been quite nasty to me!

Ben: Your face is nasty!

David: Ben, that's another point on your Arse-hole licence. That's four points you've got in the last 20 minutes bringing you to a grand total of nine.

Ben: Awww what?!

Arse-hole Licence by ActiasLuna February 25, 2009

Fartistic Licence 

The art of creatively reshaping the true facts concerning a past release of Carbon Dibaxide

"Mr Darcy, I find it most difficult to credit your assertion that Miss bennet was responsible for the beefy eggo that cleared the dance floor not five minutes ago.. For one thin, the miasma concerned was distinctly reminiscent of the casserole I observed you yourself consuming last night, whereas I have it on good authority that Miss Bennet is a vegetarian. If that was Fartistic Licence, Darcy, then it was dashed bad form."

Fartistic Licence by bromp February 18, 2010

Bishop's Licence

The Bishop's Licence is bestowed upon a gentleman when his wife is down the shops or otherwise engaged away from the house, and confers on him the right, nay, the duty to wank himself blind.

Bloke 1: You coming down the pub, Bruce?

Bloke 2: Nah Bruce, the missus's at her sister's, I've got the Bishop's Licence.

Bishop's Licence by hydraulis November 19, 2011

off licence

In Britain, a shop licenced to sell liquor for consumption off of the premises (as opposed to an On Licence, such as a pub, which is licenced to sell liquor for consumption on the premises).

I went down to the off licence to pick up some wine for tonight.

off licence by C. Lees November 26, 2006

England's Largest Off-Licence 

Place whose sole reason for existence is for English people to go and stock up on alcoholic drink. In other words, France.

I'm on a booze-cruise to England's Largest Off-Licence.

England's Largest Off-Licence by Dr Pinch September 15, 2004

artistic licence 

a distortion or complete ignorance of the facts; a lie

describes the freedoms artists (or writers, film makers, etc) take with the facts in the process of creating; disregarding facts for the sake of the art

When a book is made into a movie and parts are left out or changes are made -- the film makers are using artistic licence

The movie Titanic - the sinking of the Titanic is a real event in history but the characters in the movie are fictional. The writer took a real event and used artistic licence to create a story.

artistic licence by wikidbchofthewst October 24, 2006

Tv Licence. 

Tv Licensing is an outdated tax,collected by law and bullying from the BBC.The BBC love the tax, because it means they can write large cheques for their employees.The Licence tax is collected by a company called Capita.They employ guys who find it hard to get a job anywhere else.Capita employees have no rights when they visit your house,so you can just slam the door in their face.The current tax is £131.50,but you will find that a lot of people don't pay this,despite the threatening letters and wasted visits.

A Tv Licence is required if you recieve live broadcasts from within the UK.
This is hard to prove.
What electrical appliances you have in your home,is for you to know,and everybody else to guess. If you live to 75,you will then get a free Tv Licence. (if you live that long).

Tv Licence. by Swissguard September 18, 2006