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1.
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
 
92.
A half-finished piece of shit for an operating system that's a pain in the ass to install, a pain in the ass to use, and a pain in the ass to remove from the hard drive.

On the bright side, Linux makes an excellent disk partitioning tool.

If Linux was designed primarily for network servers, then it doesn't make any sense to market it as a desktop replacement, especially if the applications suck, and hardware detection is nonexistent.

I wasted half of a 14 CDRs of a 25-CD spindle on 9 variants of Linux. 6 of them didn't work because the computer shut down when the installation detected my video card. 2 variants wouldn't detect my soundcard, modem, USB scanner, and USB drive. Driver installation didn't do jack shit to solve the problem. The ninth variant detected my modem and USB drive, but kept playing this wierd, chaotic, repeating tune through my soundcard. Unfortunately, there were no sound drivers to resolve the issue.

Windows 98 beta detected all my hardware, and driver installation was a cakewalk.

Thank GOD I bought my CDRs cheap from Big Lots. But still that was a waste of CDs that I could have filled with MP3s and the best freeware programs available for Windows.

May the Linux programmers burn in Hell.
An everyday example of how Linux dependency/lib file Hell prevents people from using Linux:

1) You download libkmidiplayer2.2.4 for Linux, but to install it, you need :
libmidi.so.1
libsound.so.2

2) You download the two libfiles, but in order to install libmidi.so.1 you need;
libc.so.6
libkernel.so.3
libsynth.so.0
alsa2.1.3
libfm.so.0

3) To install libfm.so.0, you need:
libkmidiplayer2.2.4

4) What the fuck?
by Bert March 17, 2005
 
93.
While microsoft and apple were stealing from their rich neighbor, Xeros, linux was at home eating Cracklin' Oat Bran.

Linux is an OS where files have no association to programs; all configuration and settings are stored "wherever" in text files that grow to be megabytes long; most shell commands are so abstractly named that you would never be able to use them without knowing how they work.. or first reading its "manual page".

Linux is an operating system of inconsistancy. Theres over a thousand distributions of linux, and over a billion different modified versions of it. Programs come shipped as source code that you must compile and configure (by way of large scripts that attempt to figure out how your system is running.. since nothing is standard).

Very few consumer hardware companies support linux because there are far too many different scenarios they would have to support.

Linux is great as a server OS, but its when people try to use it as an everyday OS that it turns them into babbling idiots that stop caring about what a program does and start trying to figure out and change how it works.

Since linux was created by people with no aesthetic differentiation... most GUI's you will encounter look like a poor ripoff of windows 3.1.
When I was 8, me and my friend tried to make an operating system in QBASIC that used nothing but text files. I gave up. My friend succeeded and created linux.
by Olene Q'Dell December 16, 2004
 
94.
An operating system second only to UNIX, but since UNIX isn't free Linux will have to do. Frequently insulted by cockjockies who's only experience with a computer is games and only experience with women is 'Saucy-sues-spanking-hotline'.
As the saying goes "Linux you can get a less powerful opperating system ut it will cost you more and Bill Gates is a greedy cunt."
by Doge September 22, 2003
 
95.
An Operateing System that's great for running network servers, but despite it being increadable stable, you have to be a Guru to make it work.
Also when it does crash, and yes it does occasionally, it does a spectacular crash.
Every OS has it's place in the world of computing:
Windows - Gameing/Network Clients/Home Users
Linux/Unix - Servers
MacOS - Multimedia and Special Effects
Not that they're limited to these roles, it's just that's where they best perform.
by Canadamus_Prime September 07, 2005
 
96.
The concept and theory of Linux was really good. The only problem is that most people who develop the code and software for Linux shouldn't even be allowed anywhere near a computer in the first place, because they seriously need to understand the concept of user-friendliness. In a world where technology changes rapidly, the cumbersome command-line terminal has now been replaced by a mouse cursor, and tasks that once took hours of typing can be completed with a few clicks of a mouse. Unfortunately, many Linux programmers refuse to accept that technological change can be good for their favorite operating system, and as a result, they scratch their heads and wonder why Linux is not being adopted by the "stupid masses" as quickly as they predicted.
To all Linux fanboys, the reason why Tux is taking very long to become a household name is not because the users are stupid or "n00b"s or "trolls". It is because there is some major flaw in the Linux design which keeps the end user from picking it up, trying it out, and maybe even offering feedback on how to improve it. After all, software is only as good as the one who programs it.
by Dudley October 08, 2003
 
97.
An operating system that should only be used for hardcore developing and 24/7 services. Gaming on Linux is almost impossible. Linux is everything but user-freindly.
So many Linux-elitists think they are better than everyone else.
by Mr.Wobble June 21, 2004
 
98.
It's STILL not worthy enough to be used for the desktop at this point. You'd think that during the years after the Linux "community" made the fatal mistake of throwing their unfinished slop onto the retail shelves in 2000, they would have learned from their mistakes, completed the damn kernel, made Linux easier to use for Average Joe, and worked together to make a COMPLETE OS that includes support for "winmodems" and hardware that's sold at your local electronics store. Unfortunately, that is not the case because instead we have over 200 half-assed distros and the same old religious sermons that the Linux loons made in 1999.
So Windows costs $199.99 at the retail stores and I have to memorize a 16-digit code. At least unlike Linux, it installs flawlessly, is compatible with pretty much all of the hardware on the market, and it gets all my work done efficiently.

I will try out Linux after the geeks drop dead from fighting amongst themselves and no less than five quality distributions remain.

Year of the Linux Desktop my ass.
by true April 25, 2004