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1.
Magical beastie that uses its irregularly shaped penis to find candy, then it covers the candy with its magical "juice" that causes hallucinations of blue and pink unicorns that bring you to Candy Mountian and remove your kidney.
~"It's a leoplorodon Charlie"
~"A magical leoplorodon"
~"It's going to guide our way to Candy Mountain"

~"Uh guys you do know that there's no actual Candy Mountain right?"

~"Shun the non-believer!"
~"SHuuuuuuuuuuuNah!"