A short, "spunky" or "perky" woman who wears high heels to compensate for her inferior height, wears power suits, always has a cell phone against her ear, and talks about her great corporate job. Lap dog women are usually thin (but can be chunky), are "cute," and always say that everything else is cute ie "that skirt is soooo CUTE!" Lap dog women often order coffee drinks that are excrutiatingly precise, ie "I'll have a grande skim half-caf soy mocha with sugar-free caramel, extra foam, 180 degrees, and no whip." Lap dog women also wear lots of makeup, are always having their hair done, hit the gym, and drive SUVs or jettas and acuras. Lap dog women perceive themselves as "together," "hip," "organized," and "upbeat." Others perceive them as ambitious soccer moms who just haven't let themselves go (yet). Lap dog women are usually in their 20s and 30s, newly married, and probably rely on their husbands to pay the real bills so they can keep buying $400 handbags. Many lap dog women were members of sororities in college and majored in business in college (particularly marketing). Lap dog women do not usually earn graduate degrees, although some opt for the MBA. Lap dog women are symbols of corporate success and mainstream, mind-numbingly mundane and superficial US culture. Lap dog women exist throughout the US, but are most frequently seen in southern California and in larger cities in the Midwest. It is their dream to land a great corporate job in New York City (of course) where they would have more access to "cute" designer clothes. Lap dog women are known for their fake and perky "can-do" attitude, saying "great" and "cute" and for pronouncing every vowel as if it were 10,000 shorts A's ie "I haave to go to the baa--(like a sheep)--hroom."
by KAGT May 31, 2007