kemp

to enjoy ones sexual conquests only in ones head, and poorly attempt to fool others that these conquests are actually in reality

John: So, did you sleep with that dirtbag last night?
Chris: Erm, well, you know...(chuckle)
John: Well, did you?
Chris: Erm, well, yer, I spose so, well, erm...
John: Oh, dont be such a Kemp

by Ricardo Head March 22, 2008

KEMP

A coagulation or Buildup of vaginal fluid that turns into a damp gelatinous state during intercourse and collects on the base of a man’s penis and balls.

I was fucking becky so long I had a significant amount of kemp on my nuts after we were done.

by greenMarine July 17, 2012

kemp

A pill form of amphetamine (speed) found in South East Asia. In Thailand, it is also called YaMa (horse pill) or YaBa (crazy pill).
The pill is usually placed in a gum foil paper that is made into a boat shape. Flame is applied to the foil paper to get rid of carbon and other unwanted chemicals. The user then uses adjusted lighter to apply heat under the foil paper, and suck in the smoke once the pill starts to melt via a small sized water bong called 'Jo'.

Kemp smells wonderful, just like vanilla and strawberry combined.

by Biosphere February 10, 2005

Kemp

To cheat or steal

Did you hear what happened in Georgia during the 2018 election? The guy in charge of running the election kemped it and declared himself governor!

by nomoranao November 7, 2018

Kemp

A prolapsing hemorrhoid that blocks a bowel movement.

I’m so backed up. Every morning I just end up Kemping. At this point, I’m worried about sepsis.

by laTrell November 6, 2018

Kemp

The action of kemping or kemped something up is when you do something so uncoordinated that it physically hurts everyone around you.

Example;
“Hey I heard that you’re talking to that girl, how is it going?”
“Not good man, I kemped up HARD”
“Oh what happened?”
“I asked her out and it turns out she was a lesbian”
“Oh fuck, you kemped up HARD”

by Our Dishwashers November 6, 2019

Kemp

A tall and skinny redneck inbred who loves to play football.

That guy is really good at football he looks like a kemp.

by HelloImBillyBob May 13, 2019