Large (tall &/or wide) person, often of the feminine (sometimes loosely defined) persuasion, whom you’ll find out shopping in the wee hours of the morning following Thanksgiving dinner. The jingle beast can be found towering over or largely blocking the sight of bargains while decked out in gross amounts of holiday attire, which may include gaudy Christmas sweaters in combination with grossly inappropriate knock off stretch pants, Santa or elf hats, holiday ornament earrings, and make -up plastered on, as if she was performing a holiday stage act in Las Vegas. Beware the jingle beast, as her all consuming holiday spirit may frighten small children, and even adults in the pursuit of the latest must have gift, or 50%off socks.
That enormous jingle beast blinded me with her flashing holiday face display, and nearly run me down with her cart, on her way to get the bargain television.
by Apollo’s dad November 27, 2020