1.)Stupid son of a bitch that gets laid all the time. gets girls pregnant and then leaves them alone to take care for the baby on her own.
2.) A lazy ass motherfucker who who ets engaged to two diferent girls at the same time and leaves the pregnant one becuase he doesnt want to take care of his own child.
That guy should know what it feels like to be JAked. fucker
by body guard January 19, 2009
A Jake is a male turkey
I had a Jake for thanksgiving
by Mr.happystick November 28, 2006
jay-kuh N. A Jake is a common, intangible creature that normally thrives in upper middle-class suburbia.

Jakes are essentially synonymous with Chads, much like Craigs. Jakes are annoyingly white, spoiled, frat-boy types who live off their parent’s money and have never worked a day in their lives. They are raging douche faggots who wear nothing but Abercrombie & Fitch popped collar shirts, mesh trucker hats and too much hair gel. Personality-wise, they're hugely insensitive, stubborn, selfish and emotionally retarded, much like prepubescent 12-year old boys whose testicles have yet to drop. Even though they may act like stereotypical "nice guys,” when you first meet them, this is just a facade. A Jake lacks the ability to care for those other than himself.

The main difference between Jakes and Chads is that while Chads go out of their way to be massive cockblocks and actually do have sex with women, Jakes are usually sexually repressed, pussified fuck bags who have no game whatsoever and merely give the impression that they're getting laid on a regular basis. Do not be fooled, for the only action a Jake is getting is from his own hand, or in desperate cases, from raping small dogs and other household pets.

It is universally accepted that a Jake cannot be made a man, and that any woman hoping to land one will have to instead settle for making a Jake their bitch. Jakes fail at life, women, the internet and Chuck Norris jokes, and should generally be avoided at all costs.
"Dude, did you seriously just laugh at that girl after she told you she was anally raped fifteen consecutive times by Steve Buscemi? You are the biggest Jake I've ever met."

Girl: Hey, you're kind of cute. What's your name?
Jake: 'Sup, I'm Jake.
Girl: God, you are such an asshole. I hate you, goodbye.
Jake: I don't get it. What did I do?
Craig: It's because you said you're Jake.
Jake: So?
Craig: Everyone knows Jake is a douche. You should have said you were me.
by omgliekwtflol November 02, 2009
a stupid gay ass mother fucking faggot. also known as a player, a monkey sucker, a cock stroker, and we have proven today that he is the lowest form of male on this planet, and many other planets. i will cherish the day he dies, and watch him burn in the firery depths of HELL.
sami&rachel: HEY JAKE FUCK YOU!! *stabs in the tiny heart*
jake: that didnt hurt, because i have no soul, feelings, or emotions. especially towards the girls i say that i love.
sami&rachel: you heartless son of a bitch. go to hell
by mary-marie-ann July 21, 2009
A term from the west of Scotland for an alcoholic or drunk person. In the latter case, it is usually applied to underage drinkers.
"Jesus, did you smell that jakey bastard?"

Young Ned- "Haw mister, gonnae go intae that coarner shoap an get us a bottle ae Buckie?"
Mister- "Fuck off you wee jake."
by Paisley_Jake May 30, 2006
a boy that loves goats, also called a "goat lover", uses goats when he cant get it anywhere else
Jake wasnt getting any, so we had to get him a goat.
by youll_never_know October 09, 2008
Has half a dick and is an ugly fucka who has a massive nose and a bum chin. stupid cunt who has no friends and gets bullied at school
jake; Oh help me im gettin bullied by big boys lets get my mummy in
by Faagotface May 29, 2009

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