To fail amazingly badly at a basic or simple task. Infomercials use this kind of exaggerated, highly unlikely failure to demonstrate the nonexistent or dubious "problem" the product in question supposedly solves (i.e. trying to crack an egg into a bowl and instead splattering egg and crushed shell pieces all over everything within three feet, hammering a nail into drywall and sending the hammer right through the wall, eating a sandwich and having its entire contents fall directly into your lap, etc.).
Just full-on infomercial failed at cracking an egg. Twice.
by StromCarlson June 1, 2010
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A seemingly endless dump which stops and starts repeatedly, usually during the wiping process. This leaves the user thinking there done... "But WAIT, there's MORE!".
"sorry I took so long in there, I got stuck with an infomercial crap."
by Bourko Slowski April 23, 2008
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Endangered sub-species of homo sapiens, who due to ineptitude in any given task poses a health hazard to themselves and their surroundings. Often suffers from mal-nutrition, as simple tasks as chopping a vegetable with a knife, results in hospitalization. Also prone to different infections and diseases, as handling used rags, mops and cleaning equipment that's not highly specialized (as promoted in an infomercial), will despite ease of use and common knowledge, be used not only wrongly - but with some sort of health risk. Some cases of hoarding has been observed, but there is yet no documentation of Infomercial Sapiens" being hoarders in general.

UNESCO has put Infomercial Sapiens on the endangered species list, as they will either kill themselves, or die out when streaming of media will remove infomercials from TV-screens.

See also Infomercial People, Infomercial
Karen was so sad to discover her son had the "infomercial sapiens" mutation, and probably only had a couple of years left to live.
by GorramYadda February 9, 2018
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When there is an infomercial and you cant help but to stare and looking like a zombie.

Causing the infomercial zombie effect
Friend 1- So the other day i was about to make out with this girl when i became an infomercial zombie.

Friend 2- Shouldnt have had the tv on
by nando92 July 28, 2010
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Hands that can't do anything correctly. Infomercial Hands can't strain a pot of pasta or screw in a lightbulb or push buttons on a phone, so they require the purchase of a new fangled item that will come to the rescue.
Scott: What's with that guy? Why can't he tie his shoes?
Peter: He's suffering from Infomercial Hands. He clearly needs ShoeTie™.
by phalagen June 18, 2013
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When you think you are done pooping, you wipe, get up but then have to poop again. "But Wait! There's more"
It took me forever to get out of the bathroom. I had one infomercial poop after another
by mjank May 28, 2009
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A person used to fill a life programming gap until better programming comes along.
After breaking up with her boyfriend, Sally used John as a human infomercial as someone to dump all her problems and thoughts on until she found a new boyfriend, and then forgot John existed.
by Martin Stevens March 21, 2008
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