There once was a boy named Julian O’Toole
Who wanted to be the most fly kid in school
Though he had lots of friends, and they liked him a lot
He wanted to be at the totem-pole top

So he pictured those boys in the social elite
And wondered aloud, “But what makes them so neat?
I’m smarter than they, and I think that I’m hot,
So what do they have that I haven’t got?”

Julian imagined them all: Micky D and Brad J,
And their cheerleader girlfriends named Sue and Renee
And of course there was Doug, and his fuck-buddy Peg
“But I’ve got it!” He cried. “They all hu on the reg!”

Now “hu on the reg” – just what does that mean?
Is it something you do? Is it something obscene?
It can mean many things, like making out on a date,
Or meeting each Thursday to go fornicate