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1.
A hagglefuck is somebody so horrendous, that if anybody has sex with him/her, their status is almost irrevocably lowered among their peers.

Whereas some people will "go fishing" at parties in order to get laid, the hagglefuck casts a wide net in order to get somebody to fill that gap in their life. Anybody will do, but usually the hagglefuck will attempt to snare the drunkest of the lot.

The one way to reverse this lowering of status is to quest for the silver condom.

The person who has sex with the hagglefuck is thereafter referred to as the junkyard warden.
Any girl/guy who rates beneath a 2.5.

"The hairy hagglefuck snared Jimmy in her web, and we were all horrified when we saw him turning into a junkyard warden in the alleyway."