Guitar Wanker

A lead guitar player who plays badly, loudly, and repetitively, on a blues or pentatonic scale. A Guitar Wanker uses distortion to cover up a lack of skill and creativity. Guitar Wankers have no idea how to structure a solo, so they jerk around mindlessly and endlessly, until the rest of the band decides to shut them up. Although there are a few rare Guitar Wankers (Clapton, Prince, Santana) who are capable of wanking without being totally boring, Guitar Wankers generally have no structural knowledge of music. Guitar Wankers generally try to copy these players, but they can't distinguish between their own playing and the good stuff. Unlike lead jazz guitarists, who can noodle around without being obnoxious, Guitar Wankers never listen to whatever the rest of the band is doing. Guitar Wankers are always convinced of their own brilliance and talent. In truth, a Guitar Wanker lacks craft and taste, so they can only produce self-interested masturbatory noise.

Ace Frehley: I can't even read notes. But I can teach someone how to make a guitar smoke.
Interviewer: Maybe you should have burned your guitar and learned to read notes, you Guitar Wanker.

by th3sp3c1al1st July 25, 2019

Guitar Wanker

A guitar player that constantly plays unimpressive scales onstage, calls it soloing but really it's just wanking. Usually leads into ten minute "improvised" guitar "solos" of the player just going up and down scales. Musical masturbation. Even though the typical guitar wanker is not very creative, non-musical audience members may be very impressed by it all, but other musicians are not.

Guitar wankers can often be found in bar room blues bands and new bands with short set lists. Heavy Metal guitarists in general are wankers. Neil Young is a prime example of a guitar wanker.

by Inducer69 August 27, 2013

Guitar Wanker

Also known as the Power Chord Rape, where a person continously plays power chords on there guitar. It also applies to Bass Players who just play the Root Notes, there known as, wait there not even known at all or even heard for that matter. He's just the guy jerking it in the back who wishes he had a significant effect on the band like Les Claypool (Primus) or Geezer Butler (Black Sabbath) did in there bands. ex. Bass player who's never heard- Any Mainstream "Rock" Band or "Punk" Band.
Though Guitar Wanking/Power Chord Rape can be okay at times, it is acceptable only if you add a kick ass guitar solo, or even a guitar solo for that matter to the song.
Guitar Wankers that I recommand listening to are:
Kurt Cobain- Nirvana
Greg Ginn- Black Flag
Steve Jones- Sex Pistols
Johnny Ramone- The Ramones
James Iha- Smashing Pumpkins

Those are just a few examples, I'd recommand Punk, Hardcore Punk or even some Rock Music. So I hope you enjoy there wanking.

Example of one of the good Guitar Wankers.

Guy: Dude! Dude! Listen to Kurt Cobain wank that Guitar!
Guy 2: Oh shit here comes the solo!
Guy: Oh my god! Kurt's guitar has reached orgasm.
Guy 2: I had an orgasm in my ears too!
Guy: ahhh geez... hmm, lets listen to some Megadeth now!
Guy 2: Jesus, we're music whores.
Guy: Well, its better than being a Justin Bieber whore.
Guy 2: Yeah true.

Note: Bands posted are friggen awesome.

by Pure Fun August 13, 2010